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"Better an end with horror than a horror without end."
-Karl Prosek

Your turn.

Fighting War in Africa a mutant human with invulnerability and healing factor crawls barely a skeleton out of a lava pool and says with his final breath......




Ressurect me...

"Die fast. Rise young. Leave a whole lotta corpses."
-Bloodluster, Murder-Wraith

"Dat feller was uglier than a rashy nit."
-Orion Greenfeld

"A victory without honor is hollow one."
-Random Cyberknight

"Victory without honor is still victory."
-rebuttal by a random Mystic Knight

"If you know the Dog Boy bites, don't f*** with the Dog Boy!" by Harry the Psi-Stalker.

“ Oh, just some...thing I dug up.”
My Necromancer when Erin Tarn asked what was in the delicious stew she was eating

"The hills are alive, with the sound of mulaks."
-sung by Mr. Smiley Man, Crazy

"Need Bigger Guns"

[Every MaA PC ever at some time]

"Greet every new day and every new acquaintance with a smile and an open attitude, but the safety off and a clear line of retreat."

We find them and kill them all.

Anrixx Undead Slayer.

"What could POSSIBLY persuade me not to annihilate you mundanes for bothering me?!"
"Fresh apple pie?"
-My full conversion cyborg(with professional cooking skill) defusing a tense situation with a Shifter.

You have rekindled the fires of my man-crush on your Taalismn.

Groups Cyber-Knight “You Evil Monstrous B****! I can’t believe you used that Vicious Circle Scroll in the middle of the Splynn Slave market! You killed thousands of Innocent People!!”
Groups Necromancer Sarcastically “ Oh I’m sorry Mister White Knight. What was your great plan to save all those people from a life of slavery full of fear, torment and torture! Please do tell!”

-"WHAT was the count on this thing again?!"

-"Happiness is area-saturation strategic orbital bombardment on demand."

-"If the Rifts hadn't happened and all the d-bees and monsters from beyond hadn't come to Earth, would I still have my penthouse in Chi-Town?"

Akashic Soldier wrote:You have rekindled the fires of my man-crush on your Taalismn.

A little courtesy, a little politeness, the application of unexpected and underexploited skill, and fresh ingredients, and we got a discount on a dimensional teleport and a leyline number to call later(the Shifter was female).

"Every time I slide an old E-clip out and a new E-clip in, I feel like I just masturbated"

{Anonymous - To protect identity of the PC}

Coalition Officer (Major): D-Bees should know when they're conquered.
General Jericho Holmes: Would you, Major? Would I?
General Jericho Holmes: At my signal, unleash hell.

Siege of Tolkeen, 109 PA, RIFTS Earth.

"Strike not first with missiles or artillery, but with rumor and aspersion. These strike the enemy deeper and harder than ordnance."

"Rumor is the closest thing we'll ever see to perpetual motion. A well-crafted rumor takes on a life of its own, growing more believable with each retelling. It can become immortal."

"A seed of doubt is easier to plant than a nuclear bomb."

"Grow hatred in the people. They will grow strong in their righteous rage."

"I do not 'lie'. I motivate."

"Mold the people's minds for them, and you shape the steel of future victory."

"Truth is what we tell people it is."

---Joseph Prosek II

Regarding the Dog Boy chef: "I'm not going to eat the cooking of someone who doesn't know it's not bacon"

"Have I got a deal for YOU!"
---Anonymous Alien Intelligence

"I like to plant a bug on the armor of one of the ISS Specters chasing me so after I escape, I can hear him say, 'That was the coolest thing I've ever seen.' " -B-13, Chi-town Data Thief.

"All I'm asking for is the utter abject humiliation and obliteration of the Coalition States and the scknowledgement of the rest of this planet of my rightful title as Supreme Lord Arcane, Master of All Reality. That isn't too much to ask for, is it?"
---Lord Allister Dunscon

"Awwww...look how cute it is, it couldn't possibly be dangerous..."

--a soon to be dead adventurer

zaccheus wrote:"Awwww...look how cute it is, it couldn't possibly be dangerous..."

--a soon to be dead adventurer

"It's Cute. It's Fuzzy. It's Coming Towards Us. Kill It."
--An experienced(and still living) adventurer.

taalismn wrote:

zaccheus wrote:"Awwww...look how cute it is, it couldn't possibly be dangerous..."

--a soon to be dead adventurer

"It's Cute. It's Fuzzy. It's Coming Towards Us. Kill It."
--An experienced(and still living) adventurer.

Can't help but think of the scene with the cute aliens from Galaxy Quest and Guy's 'No stay away from them! Haven't you ever watched the show!' terrified warning to the rest of the group when they're all ready to go on first impressions instead of show some remedial survival skills and make sure what looks harmless actually is harmless.

Nightmask wrote:[
Can't help but think of the scene with the cute aliens from Galaxy Quest and Guy's 'No stay away from them! Haven't you ever watched the show!' terrified warning to the rest of the group when they're all ready to go on first impressions instead of show some remedial survival skills and make sure what looks harmless actually is harmless.

"Mom and Dad Save the Universe".....doesn't hold a candle to Galaxy Quest, but points up WHY healthy paranoia is a GOOD thing, especially when dealing with absolute idiots.

taalismn wrote:

Nightmask wrote:Can't help but think of the scene with the cute aliens from Galaxy Quest and Guy's 'No stay away from them! Haven't you ever watched the show!' terrified warning to the rest of the group when they're all ready to go on first impressions instead of show some remedial survival skills and make sure what looks harmless actually is harmless.

"Mom and Dad Save the Universe".....doesn't hold a candle to Galaxy Quest, but points up WHY healthy paranoia is a GOOD thing, especially when dealing with absolute idiots.

Yes, one should never be completely trusting, anyone with half a brain should realize that you have to walk the middle ground between trust and paranoia as the extremes are too dangerous. Too trusting and you might bring about the end of your race (the idiot scientist who clung to the idea that the Moties from The Mote In God's Eye just HAD to be peaceful and safe and dismissed everyone suggesting otherwise as just evil warmongering military sorts), same with too paranoid (sniping everyone that comes along you kill a peaceful representative and trigger an alien race's desire for revenge over such an outrage).

"Human misery, be it as free flowing as tears of anguish, or squeezed slowly drop by bloody drop, is among my most lucrative products."
---Splynncryth, Master of Atlantis

"My trip to Mexico? It sucked."
---Traveller in the New West

What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know... morons."
- Gunslinger consoling a new Dbee Sheriff on his first day..

"The streets are jammed with garbage, the buildings block out the sun, the alleyways are dark and dangerous, the rats are the size of dogs, the locals don't give a damn about outsiders, or they drive in the streets like maniacs, and if you stay in the city too long, it will drive you mad...I see New York City hasn't changed a bit."
---Time-traveling D-Bee on Madhaven.

Heh.

Thought for some time now that it was high time we re-introduce another Quotes Thread like the one I made here a long time ago. Good thinking, Akashic!

"I used to be an adventurer like you......but then I took a Magic Arrow in the knee....."

-unnamed Guard, inside Dweomer City

"I wish I knew how to quit you!"

-Joseph Prosek, speaking to his forbidden lover...Alistair Dunscon

"The more powerful you are, the less tacos you get."

-Loonatic, lifelong inmate at the Azlum Asylum on Atlantis, speaking to newly-arrived prisoners/test subjects

"I was drugged and left for dead in mexico, and all I got was this stupid t-shirt... and Vampirism"

-- PC upon waking up a Vampire in a game I was playing in.

"When I go home people'll ask me, "Hey Hoot, why do you do it man? What, you some kinda war junkie?" You know what I'll say? I won't say a goddamn word. Why? They won't understand. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's about the men next to you, and that's it. That's all it is."
- 'Hoot', scout for Larson's Brigade.

"I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country." - General Jericho Holmes, just prior to the War against Tolkeen.

"Time counts and keeps countin', and we knows now finding the trick of what's been and lost ain't no easy ride. But that's our trek, we gotta' travel it. And there ain't nobody knows where it's gonna' lead. Still in all, every night we does the tell, so that we 'member who we was and where we came from... but most of all we 'members the man that finded us, him that came the salvage. And we lights the city, not just for him, but for all of them that are still out there. 'Cause we knows there come a night, when they sees the distant light, and they'll be comin' home." - Savannah Nix, former Dinosaur swamp Barbarian.


"There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.
I await your answer. You have a full day to decide. " - Emperor Sabre Laser, Pecos Bandits.

cornholioprime wrote:

"The more powerful you are, the less tacos you get."

-Loonatic, lifelong inmate at the Azlum Asylum on Atlantis, speaking to newly-arrived prisoners/test subjects

Yay!

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."---Angel of Death

"You will fight to the last soldier, and when you die, I will call upon your damned soul to speak horrible curses at the enemy."
-Alistair Dunscon

"Laid off by Magic Pigeon? That's just cold!"

Merc Headhunter: "The hell is THAT? It's no Dogboy"
Juicer "Naa, that's a Mutant porcupine"
Merc Headhunter: "Well noone hug it or screw it! I don't wanna pay the med bills"
Juicer "I don't think, HE thinks, your funny boss"
Merc Headhunter: "What's he gonna do? Quill me? i've got MD armor

SNAP, HISS... the sound of the ... "Wilks Laser Sword" igniting

Juicer "No, but he's got a "Wilks Laser Sword!"

Confrontation ensues.

Pepsi Jedi wrote:Merc Headhunter: "The hell is THAT? It's no Dogboy"
Juicer "Naa, that's a Mutant porcupine"
Merc Headhunter: "Well noone hug it or screw it! I don't wanna pay the med bills"
Juicer "I don't think, HE thinks, your funny boss"
Merc Headhunter: "What's he gonna do? Quill me? i've got MD armor

SNAP, HISS... the sound of the ... "Wilks Laser Sword" igniting

Juicer "No, but he's got a "Wilks Laser Sword!"

Confrontation ensues.

I am also fond of...

"Is it true that the Coalition States committed hate crimes against the people of Tolkeen?"

"Allow me to reiterate, D-Bee's are NOT people anymore than your dog is a people."

"How do you think the Dog Boys that make up 12% of your fine nation would feel about that comparison?"

"I imagine they would receive it rather well actually. Our training and education system ensures that they are free to live within their instincts and are not burdened by responsibility of the democratic process. Which, as creatures without the ability to think like rational human beings, they cannot participate in while maintaining a healthy perspective."

"Are you saying that non-human members of society are not fit to vote?"

"Recent brain scans from Lonestar show that a whopping 73% of non-human intelligences are physically incapable of processing the concept of justice, freedom and the betterment of all in a human capacity--"

"The Emperor is a busy man, please step back he is no longer answering any questions."

*Karl smiles at the millions of human faces looking back at him from the other side of the camera as he is ferried back into his limousine by Deadboys*
~Karl Prosek to the media while on a diplomatic venture in Germany.

"Magically levitated rocket-powered flying chainsaw? Excuse me, but Technowizardry is about the PRACTICAL application of magic to technology."

"hey, what's with the claw hammer and the crowbar?"


"it's so I can loot the stuff that IS nailed down as well"

"My impression of 'Earth'? Nice place, but I'd advise you stay away from dark places, avoid being seen out in the day, avoid open spaces where you stick out, avoid confined spaces, stay away from deserts, avoid forests, stay away from anybody glowing, certainly avoid anybody dripping with weapons and technology,get ready to run if things get too noisy, get ready to run if things get too quiet, watch your wallet, your back, and your companions, don't pet the animals, don't trust the food, and don't drink the water.
Other than that, it's a nice little place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there."

Akashic Soldier wrote:

Pepsi Jedi wrote:Merc Headhunter: "The hell is THAT? It's no Dogboy"
Juicer "Naa, that's a Mutant porcupine"
Merc Headhunter: "Well noone hug it or screw it! I don't wanna pay the med bills"
Juicer "I don't think, HE thinks, your funny boss"
Merc Headhunter: "What's he gonna do? Quill me? i've got MD armor

SNAP, HISS... the sound of the ... "Wilks Laser Sword" igniting

Juicer "No, but he's got a "Wilks Laser Sword!"

Confrontation ensues.

I am also fond of...

"Is it true that the Coalition States committed hate crimes against the people of Tolkeen?"

"Allow me to reiterate, D-Bee's are NOT people anymore than your dog is a people."

"How do you think the Dog Boys that make up 12% of your fine nation would feel about that comparison?"

"I imagine they would receive it rather well actually. Our training and education system ensures that they are free to live within their instincts and are not burdened by responsibility of the democratic process. Which, as creatures without the ability to think like rational human beings, they cannot participate in while maintaining a healthy perspective."

"Are you saying that non-human members of society are not fit to vote?"

"Recent brain scans from Lonestar show that a whopping 73% of non-human intelligences are physically incapable of processing the concept of justice, freedom and the betterment of all in a human capacity--"

"The Emperor is a busy man, please step back he is no longer answering any questions."

*Karl smiles at the millions of human faces looking back at him from the other side of the camera as he is ferried back into his limousine by Deadboys*
~Karl Prosek to the media while on a diplomatic venture in Germany.

EDIT: This one is really obscure but too Karl not to adapt to him. 10 geek points to anyone who calls it.

Educational theory of Adolf Hitler, isn't it?

"Pick up the gun."
*vvap*
"You all saw him. He had a gun."
-CS Soldier, after tossing an unloaded pistol at a rogue scholar's feet

"How do we run so fast in competition? In the Outback, where we train, there are giant wombats."---Anonymous Melbourne professional athlete.

"I hear one more 'are you stoned?' joke, I'm going to bury you so deep and capstone the hole so heavily they'll be pumping you back up as crude oil!!"---Anonymous StoneMaster

"Oh, I hate it when my lead Dog Boy's fur goes 'toing!' like that. It means it's about to SERIOUSLY hit the fan...." -CS NETSEC Operative.

"Do you psychics go to some special school or take some special apprenticeship to learn how to phrase stuff cryptically like that? Because just for once I'd like a straight honest answer like 'don't ####ing go into the Relic or you'll be ###ing dead', or 'a Balrog's going to try taking your head off on Monday morning'."

"When the Ludicrous Mage starts taking things SERIOUSLY, it's time to start running."

"We're going to need an entirely new set of analytical tools to properly study this anomaly."
"What does he mean by 'analytical tools'?"
"He means he needs a longer stick to poke stuff with."
---Overheard during a CS scientific investigatory mission into the Magic Zone.

"That's...oh jeez, yeah... WHOA! BIG fella aintcha?"
~I. P. Frylee, Rouge Scholar upon being "adopted" as a pet by a dragon hatchling.

"Oh no, missiles would be MUCH too conspicuous."
~De Dee The Crazy (Cpl. and E.O.D. instructor) moments after a full conversion borg fails climbing skill whilst entering Xiticix hive.

"You have got to be [CENSORED] kidding me..."
~Response to a Flooper-rush.

-BOOMBOOM-CLANG- -BOOMBOOM-CLANG-"WE WILL, WE WILL, ROCK YOU! ... everbody now!"
~Battle chant of the Holly Terror squad 'The Rollin' Thundah-childe'.

"Nuke the site from orbit...it's the only way to be sure."
~Freedom Station upon learning of the Coalition States latest attempt to ressurect Cape Canaveral.

John Smith; "Please tell me you at least got the damned Balrogg to swear to a non-hostility compact first before you set it free...?"
Rika Hanlah VII (Nei-Warphunter); "ummmmmmm..."
-GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!-
"...no?...

Chris: Called shot to the rectum modded 23 nat 19
Ok so you attack its rectum?
Chris: no I give it a supernatural strength rectal exam with my fist
Roll damage
Chris: 10MD to the brown eye
The beast notices you and takes its focus off of the cyberknight
Chris: use up remaining actions dodging
next round beast runs off
Chris: I remove my fist raking with my hands trying to yank something out
Roll damage
Chris 12MD colonic

Pepsi Jedi wrote:

Akashic Soldier wrote:

Pepsi Jedi wrote:Merc Headhunter: "The hell is THAT? It's no Dogboy"
Juicer "Naa, that's a Mutant porcupine"
Merc Headhunter: "Well noone hug it or screw it! I don't wanna pay the med bills"
Juicer "I don't think, HE thinks, your funny boss"
Merc Headhunter: "What's he gonna do? Quill me? i've got MD armor

SNAP, HISS... the sound of the ... "Wilks Laser Sword" igniting

Juicer "No, but he's got a "Wilks Laser Sword!"

Confrontation ensues.

I am also fond of...

"Is it true that the Coalition States committed hate crimes against the people of Tolkeen?"

"Allow me to reiterate, D-Bee's are NOT people anymore than your dog is a people."

"How do you think the Dog Boys that make up 12% of your fine nation would feel about that comparison?"

"I imagine they would receive it rather well actually. Our training and education system ensures that they are free to live within their instincts and are not burdened by responsibility of the democratic process. Which, as creatures without the ability to think like rational human beings, they cannot participate in while maintaining a healthy perspective."

"Are you saying that non-human members of society are not fit to vote?"

"Recent brain scans from Lonestar show that a whopping 73% of non-human intelligences are physically incapable of processing the concept of justice, freedom and the betterment of all in a human capacity--"

"The Emperor is a busy man, please step back he is no longer answering any questions."

*Karl smiles at the millions of human faces looking back at him from the other side of the camera as he is ferried back into his limousine by Deadboys*
~Karl Prosek to the media while on a diplomatic venture in Germany.

EDIT: This one is really obscure but too Karl not to adapt to him. 10 geek points to anyone who calls it.

Educational theory of Adolf Hitler, isn't it?

SO CLOSE!!! I'll give it to you. It was Joseph Mangler on Hitler's educational reform. Twinked it a little for Riftsy flare but not enough so it wouldnt be unrecognizable.

"I had a vote and it came down to a tie; whether we should hang you or I should wear the little pink number with the spaghetti straps."---M.O.M Crazy sheriff to prisoner.

"Why join the Cult of the Deep, young man? Tentacles! Women LOVE tentacles!"----CotD Priest