Today's Hagar the Horrible...

[pblackcrow]

It has inspired my sneaky little mind to greatness. http://www.arcamax.com/newspics/85/8598/859885.gif The next army that comes to raid my castle...will get that said to them, after casting the spell charismatic aura, along with "the yearly taxes on this place are killing me and not to mention it''s almost tax time...So, please, come on right in! Send the knights, paladin, and squires and others nobles or clan leaders or commanders in first followed by the rest of the men. Boy, you guy came at just the right time!" The drawbridge lowers the outer and inner portcullis, and the gates on the inside opened up. Then, if they are stupid enough to actually fall for it and enter the gateway...The extremely long and wide gateway at that...with orb of silence cast above it as the men ready to brake open the barrel of dwarven whiskey through the murder holes onto them at my signal; if there are any are through the gate way, the inner portcullises close...The huge barrels of 400 proof whiskey gets broken smashed. Followed a few minutes later by 1 very small and very thin vile of Greek fire. The men on the draw bridge will get pushed back into the mote, and the men who are now on fire jump into the mote and into the jaws of the lampry that are in the mote. The nobles, clan leaders, or commanders will be ransomed. And I seriously doubt any of them saying 1 word about how it went down. And considering it's most likely it will be orcs who attack or pirates.

[Alrik Vas]

Seems good. the only problem with ransoming is feeding all those extra grubbly little mouths that constantly complain about the fare.

[Mallak's Place]

Seems good. the only problem with ransoming is feeding all those extra grubbly little mouths that constantly complain about the fare.

Plenty of whiskey braisened meat floating in the moat. just need to get it away from the lampreys and hang it up to dry for a few days.

[pblackcrow]

Actually, lamprey are quite good to eat, and uh, don't bet on there being anything left in the moat but bones. It's a unique design...20' deep, 15' of it is water, 40' across, and has cement (with volcanic ash for water proofing) around stacked clay pots to line the bottom walls...It's hooked up to the river. Took hours to dig, using the dig spell. But is linked up to the river via small clay tubes which flows in and out. I pay a water warlock to clear it out every week with water wisps...takes 2-8 hours.

Take the hog bones, (had bones of a horse who had raided the cider barrel in there once), and bones of criminals that went to the lamprey and cremate them. On my island kingdom we cremate everyone and everything once they die, if they can't be brought back, just not usually together. It keeps necromancers from capitalizing, the corpses from rotting and seep into grown water, and the smell down. Plus we have ancestor veneration.