A civilized exchange of views

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 6:43 pm

A civilized exchange of views

The scene, on one side of a open field somewhere in Minnesota, a rare meeting unfolds. Two men, one from the Coalition and one from Tolkeen have come to exchange their views on magic and technology. Debates like these have frequently occurred and are called “fire fights”. This time however, the two sides are using no weapons greater then their words. 1st Lt. Jimmy Patterson of the great Coalition state of Chi-Town and Elfinster the Wizard from the wonderful city of Tolkeen.

Elfinster: You can’t win this war you know, our magic is far superior to your technology.
Lt. Patterson: Really? Name 20 things you can do we cant…and better.
Elfinster: With my magic I can run at superhuman speeds!
Lt. Patterson: Oh really? Just how fast is superhuman?
Elfinster: I can run at 30 MPH without tiring for 5 minutes!
Lt. Patterson: 30 miles per hour huh? Private McRunfast! Front and center!
Private McRunfast: Sir!
Lt. Patterson: Private, how fast was your last PT test?
Private McRunfast: Sir I was clocked at 66 MPH sir!
Elfinster: Wait! That’s not fair, that man is a Juicer!
Lt. Patterson: What’s your point? It’s just technology right?
Elfinster: *grumbling*
Lt. Patterson: That will be all private.
Elfinster: Well with my magic I can create a cloud of smoke to blind my enemies. Watch this! (casts Cloud of Smoke) *30 foot area covered by smoke*
Lt. Patterson: Very nice, watch this, (pulls and throws smoke grenade) *40 foot area is covered by smoke* Mine is bigger.
Elfinster: No matter! I can become invisible at will! (casts Invisibility) Hah! Now you can’t see me.
Lt. Patterson: *picks up rock, throws it at Elfinster*
Elfinster: Ouch! Hey, how’d you see me?
Lt. Patterson: *taps side of helmet* Thermal optics built in the helmet my technologically impaired friend.
Elfinster: Curses foiled again! Now I will have to show you some real magic! (casts Armor of Ithan) Now I am completely protected from harm! This mystic armor of the great dwarven king Ithan grants me 50 MDC.
Lt. Patterson: Really? 50 huh? You must be 5th level then?
Elfinster: *puffs out chest* That’s right.
Lt. Patterson: Private Johnson post!
Private Johnson: Sir!
Lt. Patterson: Private Johnson just graduated from basic training two weeks ago. Private what is the MDC of your CA-1 heavy body armor?
Private Johnson: 80 MDC sir!
Elfinster: *grumbles more*
Lt. Patterson: Thank you private, return to your post.
Elfinster: Ok, now I will show you the power of magic.
Lt. Patterson: Still waiting…
Elfinster: Watch this! (casts Call Lightning, blasts near by tree)
Lt. Patterson: Wow, how far can you hit something with that?
Elfinster: 300 feet if I’m not near a Ley-line or nexus point.
Lt. Patterson: *Draws C-18 laser pistol, sights a tree 800 feet out, blasts it*
Elfinster: ….
Lt. Patterson: And that was only this little pistol.

Too be contined…

Sir Blayse · Unread post by **Sir Blayse** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 7:03 pm

wow, i love this... this is great...

keep it going...

Preacher · Unread post by **Preacher** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 7:12 pm

Funny.

Someone should do a magic one where the mage is making fun of the tech guy.

Sir Blayse · Unread post by **Sir Blayse** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 7:21 pm

yeah but the only few pluses would be resurrection, anniliation, and animate dead, and tongues...

now a temporal wizard... now we're talking...

Sir Blayse · Unread post by **Sir Blayse** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 7:44 pm

Elfinster:Come here Temporal Wizard Apprentice
Lt. Patterson:What's temporal?
Elfinster:So what do you carry in your pack Lt.? And how much does it weigh?
Lt. Patterson: Well, i got three days rations, 5 e-clips, binos, a rangefinder, pocket computer, spare clothes, folding shovel, and a map... and 30 lbs. why?
Elfinster: Apprentice what's in your pack?
Apprentice: Well, sir, I have a months rations, five fully charged TW-pistols, 6 fire spell grenades, TW goggles of seeing, four sets of clothes, a sleeping bag, tent, and a picture of mom- and the rest of my whole family.
Elfinster: How much does it weigh?
Apprentice: Well, the pack weighs about 3 lbs, and that's it...

Sir Blayse · Unread post by **Sir Blayse** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 8:02 pm

nice...

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 8:07 pm

Glad people have enjoyed this little thread. I will be posting more stuff later tonight...thats tonight my time

Josh Sinsapaugh · Sat Jun 25, 2005 8:40 pm

Toc Rat wrote:Glad people have enjoyed this little thread. I will be posting more stuff later tonight...thats tonight my time

Good, I've enjoyed it fully up to the point it has been written...

However, I must admit that I thought this was at first going to be a thread about the nature of some threads (Such as the "TanK" thread) on these forums. Seeing as I was a big contributer to the uncivilized discussion, I was going to come here and apologize (again). ((I still apologize though, even if this is a cool fan fic thread)).

Just one quick question, seeing as this is in a sense, more or less, your thread. That little bit of dialogue in your sig line. What is that from? From a gaming session? Or (hopefully not) from real life?

Just curious, either way it is funny.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 9:26 pm

That is from my real life. For those that don't know I am in the US Army. That is just about what I said upon hearing that.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 11:12 pm

It's not a debate. It's a satire I thought people would enjoy.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sat Jun 25, 2005 11:19 pm

Ishtirru wrote:Ya good satire. Also a good research technique with some play in it.

Thanks

I will be posting the next part in a little bit. I'm about half way done writting it.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:58 am

We pick up where last we left our odd couple…

Elfinster: No matter, I have other farther reaching spells to slay my enemies with! (casts Power Bolt) *destroys a boulder 2000 ft away*
Lt. Patterson: Hey that is pretty long range, about equal to a C-12 laser rifle but…
Elfinster: *sigh*…what?
Lt. Patterson: How many times can you do that in say fifteen seconds?
Elfinster: Twice, why?
Lt. Patterson: Private Snuffy, front and center!
Private Snuffy: Sir!
Elfinster: *muttering* Oh, here we go…
Lt. Patterson: Private how many times can you fire your C-12 rifle in fifteen seconds in single shot mode?
Private Snuffy: Sir in single shot mode I can fire five times sir!
Lt. Patterson: That will be all private.
Elfinster: *cough* Yes, well that’s all fine and good but can you restore life to the dead?
Lt. Patterson: Bring back the dead? That is a good trick.
Elfinster: *smiling* Yes, that is something your feeble technology will never be able to do.
Lt. Patterson: You might be right there. I bet when the fighting starts you’ll be using it a lot too…
Elfinster: *scowling* Maybe not as much as you think. Golems! Come here!
Lt. Patterson: What are those things? *points at Golems*
Elfinster: *waving his hand* These are my loyal golems, infused my a portion of my own life force, they are fearless, obey only me, will regenerate even if it’s completely destroyed unless the heart is also removed, suffers only half damage from most attacks and has 160 MDC! *Stands proudly before his minions*
Lt. Patterson: *whistles* that’s pretty impressive.
Elfinster: Thank you…What no come back for that?
Lt. Patterson: Well now that you mention it…
Elfinster: *smile gone* Go on; say what’s on your mind.
Lt. Patterson: You have just the four of these things?
Elfinster: That’s right.
Lt. Patterson: Because you had to use your own, life force you said? Like how much?
Elfinster: 6 SDC.
Lt. Patterson: Now don’t take this the wrong way but you mages aren’t really known for being very… strong shall we say? You probably don’t want to make any more huh?
Elfinster: Well no but what of it? Four is plenty.
Lt. Patterson: If you say so. What about your fellow wizards they got golems too right?
Elfinster: Yes, many mages have such servants.
Lt. Patterson: But like yours they only obey the one that created them right? So if you were to gather them up in a platoon, you’d have a hard time trying to co-ordinate them huh?
Elfinster: Well…yes but
Lt. Patterson: And if you were to tell just your four to kill all enemies on a hill, advancing by fire teams with bounding over-watch, would they understand?
Elfinster: Huh? I’m not sure I understood that!
Lt. Patterson: Something simpler then, like kill all enemies on the hill? What if the bad guys run away? Since they aren’t on the hill anymore would the golems follow or stop on the hill?
Elfinster: Um, I don’t know…
Lt. Patterson: *tisk* It’s been my experience that “I don’t knows” in combat cause bad things to happen my infantry tactics ignorant friend. So what happens if while leading you fearless followers, you die tragically for the glory of Tolkeen?
Elfinster: Um, well they will follow their last order.
Lt. Patterson: Hmm, so they basically become useless to the rest of your countrymen? Gee that’s too bad. Let me show you something. Sgt. Conroy, bring your platoon forward!
Sgt. Conroy: Yes sir!
*sounds of many armored feet marching*
Elfinster: What are those…things?!
Lt. Patterson: Those are Fully Automated Self-Sufficient Assault Robots or Skelebots as they are more commonly known. They have built in radios for instant and continuous communications, two retractable high frequency vibro-blades, are programmed with full knowledge of infantry tactics too include squad, platoon and company level movements, have comparable MDC to your golems and in the event Sgt. Conroy becomes unable to command them they will follow my commands. Say, I bet you used some kind of big ritual to make those things huh?
Elfinster: Yes…
Lt. Patterson: Bet it took a while too. We produce these things by the thousands each year.
Elfinster: *gulp* Thousands?
Lt. Patterson: Actually just between you and me we make tens of thousands each year.
Elfinster: *gulp*…Um, well the war might not be decided by either of our automatons but your technological terrors will never be able to defeat this! (casts Impenetrable Wall of Force)
Lt. Patterson: Wow, that’s one big shiny wall you got there. So what’s so special about it?
Elfinster: No weapon will damage it, not a single weapon known to man, dragon or god will break this wall.
Lt. Patterson: Really? That is interesting. *looks back and forth* Seems to me it’s about 100 feet long and high.
Elfinster: Yes?
Lt. Patterson: Sgt. Conroy, have your platoon assault that hill behind this wall, treat it is an unbreachable obstacle for the purpose of this exercise.
Sgt. Conroy: Yes sir! *Skelebots break in to 4 squads and quickly go around both sides of the wall, assaulting the hill behind it with flawless precision.*
Elfinster: Ok, so maybe we will need to refine our tactics with it some before the war…

Too be continued…

Blight · Unread post by **Blight** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 1:03 am

this is great! :lol:

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 1:21 am

Blight wrote::lol: this is great!

Thanks!

I will do at least one more installment. Maybe two.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 1:43 am

Ishtirru wrote::shock:

I was thinking. Oh no golems agian

Yah, it just kind of developed that way...The next parts won't have(shouldn't) any more golems or skelebots in them

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 1:46 am

Will consider it. For the most part I am trying to keep it main book. Powerbolt isn't but it just felt right to add it. I think those rune beasts are mentioned in the Atlantis book. I will look when I get back to my post after leave. I'm 180 miles from most of my books right now

R Ditto · Unread post by **R Ditto** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 6:42 am

Hmm... interesting... behold, the power of Elements! And the original CB1... which is close to the RMB... sort of...

Elfinster: We do have a major defensive advantage with our Warlocks!
Lt. Patterson: Hopefully better than what you've been showing me.
Elfinster: Yes, indeed! Random Fire Warlock, come here!
Random Fire Warlock: Make it quick, it's cold out here...
Elfinster: What can a major fire elemental do on the defensive to really annoy tech users?
Random Fire Warlock: Well... it could make itself immune to energy, which would last for 20 minutes, then it could do some things that would likely mess up use of thermal sights, then it can kick in its plasma bolt ability... and have a ball blasting stuff at range.

Lt. Patterson: How much damage, 2D6 MD? 3D6 MD?
Random Fire Warlock: Try 6D6.
Lt Patterson: Wow...let me guess... it can attack things a few hundred feet away...
Random Fire Warlock: Nah, a beginner Fire Warlock, yeah, but not a Major Fire Elemental.
Lt. Patterson: Oh, one or two thousand feet?
Random Fire Warlock: No, more like ten thousand feet.
Lt. Patterson: Ah, it must only be able to do such an attack a few times per melee.
Random Fire Warlock: Actually, it can attack using Plasma Bolts 36 times per minute, and do so for 5 minutes.
Lt, Patterson: Ouch...
Random Fire Warlock: And that is all without the effect of any ley lines... now, if we take into accounts the nexus points around Tolkeen...
Lt. Patterson: Well then... how many do you have?
Random Fire Warlock: Oh, likely only one or two at best in a week.
Lt. Patterson: Ah ha!

Random Fire Warlock: But since there are thousands of warlocks, I would have to say there might be one or two hundred fire warlocks that could manage summoning major elementals...
Lt. Patterson: Oh...Well then, since it's immune to energy, we'll use rail guns!
Random Fire Warlock: Don't work...
Lt. Patterson: Okay, lots of big missiles!
Random Fire Warlock: (he shakes his head) at best, with a massive blast of an LRM, you could possibly disperse it with a critical hit, wasting a second or two of its time while it pulls itself back together.
Lt. Patterson: Well them, we'll use Juicers and Borgs with Vibro-Blades!
Random Fire Warlock: Immune to those also... you would need either a literal ton of water, or a psychic... but even then, they can toss 2D6x10 MD fire bolts up to 4,000ft away... and if the psychic is immune to fire, lets see it survive a swim in lava!... I bet they can't breath moletn rock, and the heat would make the air to thin to breath effectively...
Lt. Patterson: Um... okay... I think you got me there... but I guess we could use air power!

Elfinster: Okay, let's bring out Random Air Warlock!
Lt. Patterson: Not again...
Elfinster: Okay Random Air Warlock, what could you do with a major air elemental?
Random Air Warlock: First, I’d have it toss an Electromagnetic field on the River of Lava... just for kicks... then I guess I’d have it toss a Wind Cushion into the path of any incoming fliers and watch them go thud.
Lt. Patterson: I bet that isn’t much use.
Random Air Warlock: Well, it could toss out 24 per minute, and toss them in the paths of missiles, flying PA, jets and so on...
Lt. Patterson: Sounds more like an annoyance... I guess we could just use a DHT to ploy through all that and land on top of it.
Random Air Warlock: Then it could unleash 24 Wind Blasts per minute.
Lt. Patterson: What good is that? Huh? A wind blast? You going to slow it down by a few miles per hour and delay your death a few seconds?

Random Air Warlock: I was thinking 2D4x10 MD per blast with a range of 100,000 ft, not including effects of ley lines or nexus points... As Random Fire Warlock said, there are thousands of warlocks, so there are probably one or two hundred air warlocks that could summon a Major Air Elemental or two each week... They could just hover above nexus points at Tolkeen and go blasting 4D4x10 MD wind blasts at anything within 200,000 feet 24 times per minute...
Lt. Patterson: But... that’s... impossible!
Random Air Warlock: Hello! Major Air Elemental? Fragment of Greater Air Elemental Intelligence? Control over Air? Planet covered in Air? Any of this make any sense to you?
Lt. Patterson: Er... um... yeah...
Elfinster: Lets not forget that a major elemental can 4-24 lesser elementals of the same type up to 4 times per day!
Random Air Warlock: Yeah... that’s a lot of potential electrical based attacks waiting to happen.
Random Fire Warlock: And fire balls...
Random Water Warlock: (pops up out of rain puddle) and Ice! Can’t forget walls of ice and putting slick ice on the ground!
Random Earth Warlock: (pops up under rock) Or an Earth Warlock plan, which Tolkeen leaders scrapped, to build Vietcong style tunnels to use low tech to really annoy high tech by becoming impossible to track and next to impossible to even find and attack!
Lt. Patterson: Uh...

Random Earth Elemental: Dig, Create Clay, Clay to Stone... make a lot of nice places deep underground were a few dozen different Warlocks help to sustain a lot of life... and then we make dozens and dozens of tunnels that go nowhere near the surface, and then we move earth to close off unused tunnels... then we have Mercs use the tunnels! Then your Dog Boys can’t tell we’re coming until they pull a rope that yanks out a support and causes the specially made entrance to collapse to form a ramp for the mercs to storm out of the ground to launch surprise attacks! Or the fact we could, if anyone cared to, move all of Tolkeen underground, and make it next to impossible to-
Elfinster: Enough! This is about a coming war! We got to do stupid and unintelligent things in wars! You can’t fight a war with brains!
Lt. Patterson: Agreed... I got my squad tactics, I don’t need anything intelligent, I just need high command to tell me were to have my forces to attack.

TW: (walks up) Hi guys.
Elfinster: Ah, good, tell us about the new TW weapons you might make!”
TW: Well, bad news, they scrapped the project to try and infuse TW weapons with offensive spells of major elementals... something about to intelligent, that it won’t work because energy isn’t the same as energy, and that I’m about as dumb as someone who suggested we study old WWII, Korean and Vietnam war data to come up with stuff like tunnel systems and other next to impossible to defeat defense measures, strategies and tactics...
Random Air Warlock: Idiots... (flies off)
Random Earth Warlock: Morons... (gets distracted and wanders over to CS solider lighting cigarette)
Random Water Warlock: Talk about wet noodles... (vanishes back into rain puddle)
Random Earth Warlock: Now what am I going to do with underground areas made to support tens of thousands of people for years and years to come? Why did me and my several dozen buddies bother to create thousands of miles of tunnels? Might as well tell them to stop operation Sink Chi Town... we need to find something smarter to fight for... Heck, I’m going to tell my cousin to stop making clay porcupines filled with lots of NG-6 explosives and to stop turning them into iron or stone for that walking shrapnel bomb idea of his... (disappears back into ground under rock)

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:57 am

Nice to see I have started something people are enjoying.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 3:39 pm

Yah magic has always been short changed in Rifts. The FoM did reverse it somewhat but it still suffers in my opinion. I'm just glad people have been enjoying this little piece of satire.

Sir Blayse · Unread post by **Sir Blayse** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:02 pm

hey, toc rat

keep it coming this it great...

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 9:47 pm

Sir Blayse wrote:hey, toc rat

keep it coming this it great...

Will do!

R Ditto · Unread post by **R Ditto** » Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:26 pm

I feel like bringing up two spells from HU2 that I don't recall seeing in the Rifts books I have.

The first is Mystic Shield. It is like Energy Field, has the same range and PPE cost, but its SDC (or MDC in Rifts) is not simply 60, but 60 per level.
Makes for much better defense than Energy Shield.

The second is Dimensional Pocket. I'm thinking covert place to store small magic items, e-clips, grenades, explosives and so on, or just about anything that fits in a backpack.
Combine that with one spell I remember hearing about, something about a small globe that is basically a PPE battery.

I'm amazed there isn't a weapon that fires off that one particle acceleration type spell that recharges e-clips... see dead boy, fire weapon, watch dead boy freak because his e-clip was fully charged at the time...
or an area of effect version and a box of e-clips or formation of soldiers...

since I don't have much details on the spell, and am not sure if HU2 spells are accepted by many in Rifts, I haven't tried to put this all in the form of Elfinster vs. Lt. Patterson.

Sir Blayse · Unread post by **Sir Blayse** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 7:05 pm

i already mention D-pocket in the being, i just didn't mention the name- i figured everyone would know the name. Sorry.

Warwolf · Unread post by **Warwolf** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 2:43 pm

Toc Rat wrote:Lt. Patterson: Those are Fully Automated Self-Sufficient Assault Robots or Skelebots as they are more commonly known. They have built in radios for instant and continuous communications, two retractable high frequency vibro-blades, are programmed with full knowledge of infantry tactics to include squad, platoon and company level movements, have comparable MDC to your golems and in the event Sgt. Conroy becomes unable to command them they will follow my commands.

Does anyone else hear this in Sarge's voice (from Red vs. Blue) when they read it? Think of the episode when they first got the Warthog.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 2:00 am

You know I wasn't thinking about that when I wrote it but it fits.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sat Jul 02, 2005 5:53 pm

OK, back on the net again. Currently stuck at pasco airport...joy...ohwell not too much longer till I am back in civlization again.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:56 pm

John Kronus wrote:Toc Rat, Just a quick question... What has your old friend "Lt. Patterson:" been up to latley ??

I Miss this segment....

He has been getting ready for a training rotation and is having trouble getting regular internet access time.

Larsen · Unread post by **Larsen** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 12:53 am

great stuff. just basically bumping the thread. don't wanna see the crows picking at it don't ya know.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 1:36 am

Returning to the side of the clearing after having provided light for their superiors, we find Private Snuffy and wizards apprentice Dangolf together again, counting their winnings…

Pvt. Snuffy: OK so how much did we get?
Dangolf: Let’s see (combines credits) about 3,400 hundred.
Pvt. Snuffy: 1,700 for me then, that’s an entire month’s pay!
Dangolf: That’s all? Hey wait a second, I thought you guys weren’t taught math? The powers that be in Chi-Town frown on it or something.
Pvt. Snuffy: (laughs) Let me tell you, there isn’t a soldier in any army that doesn’t know how to count money! Especially his own! We just aren’t taught alerba…algebar..al..
Dangolf: Algebra.
Pvt. Snuffy: Yah that’s the one.
Dangolf: Aren’t they ever going to call it quits? At least for the night? My legs are starting to hurt from all this standing.
Pvt. Snuffy: Well can’t you just magic some chairs or something?
Dangolf: No.
Pvt. Snuffy: How about a hammock?
Dangolf: Nope.
Pvt. Snuffy: Bean bag?
Dangolf: (looking skyward, sighs) Nooooo. Not that kind of mage.
Pvt. Snuffy: Well, what can you do?
Dangolf: You a drinking man?
Pvt. Snuffy: You know any soldiers that aren’t?
Dangolf: Let me see your canteen for a second.
Pvt. Snuffy: Um, ok,(looks around, hands over canteen)
Dangolf: (casts Water to Wine, hands it back), Here try it now.
Pvt. Snuffy: (sips from canteen, then takes a bigger swallow) Hey this is pretty good!
Dangolf: Thanks, That’s a pretty classic spell called Water to Wine. I’ve been working on making some new versions though.
Pvt. Snuffy: Really? Like what a Water to Beer spell?
Dangolf: Nah, Water to Lager.
Pvt. Snuffy: Awesome! What else you got?
Dangolf: Well there was this pre-rifts drink I heard about in a movie, it was called Absinth.
Pvt. Snuffy: Is that the one where they start drinking it and they start seeing green fairies?
Dangolf: Yup.
Pvt. Snuffy: Rock on! Here do my other canteen. (hands over second canteen)
Dangolf: One bottle of Absinth coming up! (casts Water to Absinth)
Pvt. Snuffy: (while waiting for spell to finish) So are you some kind of water to liquor wizard?
Dangolf: (smiling) Hey, casting fireballs and making golems is cool and all but what good is it if you can’t make your life a little more enjoyable? (hands over canteen)
Pvt. Snuffy: You know, that’s a good point. (takes a swig of absinth) WOW, that’s some good ****. (passes canteen back)
Dangolf: Thanks, came up with that one back in Ley-Line Walker College. (takes a pull from the canteen)
Pvt. Snuffy: Well there’s a time and place for everything…
Dangolf: And college is it! (both start laughing)
Pvt. Snuffy: Here let me show you something…

To be continued…

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 9:37 am

Hope everyone enjoys this latest installment, I felt like focusing on our odd couple's sidekicks as it were

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 10:48 am

Speaking as someone who works in the desert with tanks, let me tell you, we would kill for an airconditioning spell! "Wait so you'll teach me how to cast this spell and it will keep the air around me at 70degrees? Who did you need killed?"

Seriuosly, when it's 112 outside it's like 130 inside a M1. The next tank the army designs need to have A/C

Blight · Unread post by **Blight** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 11:17 am

I thought the M-1a2 were climate controlled?

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 11:53 am

Blight wrote:I thought the M-1a2 were climate controlled?

Nope. They only consession to human comfort is a special vest that the tankers can wear to help keep them cooled. That's it. I hear the Strikers got A/C though, not because they wanted the crew to be comfterable but so the electronics wouldn't burn up.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 1:58 pm

LuckyJim wrote:That's great stuff!!! Might have to read it again when the boss isn't around

ahh, another happy ready :-D

I'm already working on the fifth installment but will have to wait to post it until I get back from the field. We move out in about an hour:(

Larsen · Unread post by **Larsen** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 10:09 pm

more more!!!! :lol:

but yea that sux man no a/c? 130 degrees farenheight? Whew I get upset when it gets to 90.

Sir Blayse · Unread post by **Sir Blayse** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 6:18 am

Hey TocRat- know what you mean, at least here I can get out of the heat for a little bit. Yesterday sucked though 10 hours in full battle, temp around the 120+ mark. NTC was pretty much the same last year- i got a nasty burn then, but now i keep a pretty constant tan.

It's also funny how everyone thinks the Abrams have AC. Now, the UAH those are pretty nice. Later. Great installment. Keeps a soldier laughing.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 6:12 pm

Back on post for a hour, not long enough to type out the next installment

sorry gang. Will have the fifth up soon though(I hope)

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 5:06 pm

OK, in from the field for the night. that gives me a few hours to post the fifth segment. Been working it out in my head whenever I wasn't working on commo issues.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 2:59 am

The quest for more credits.

In our last visit with our protagonists, Pvt. Snuffy received a demonstration of magic from Dangolf more down to earth then his master’s display in the clearing. We return to them now, just in time to see Pvt. Snuffy display one of his toys…

Dangolf: (watches Snuffy pull a small packet out of his web gear) What do you got there?
Pvt. Snuffy: (pulls out deck of cards from case) 52 of my best friends. *smiles*
Dangolf: A deck of cards? That’s it? It’s not a deck of many things or something?
Pvt. Snuffy: A deck of what?
Dangolf: Never mind…So what makes them so special?
Pvt. Snuffy: This! (fans cards out, then flips his hand around revealing what’s on the other side of the Coalition States flag)
Dangolf: *whistles* Who is That?! She’s hot!
Pvt. Snuffy: That my friend is Jane Jameson, 106 PA’s Miss Coalition States and number one pin up queen! *sigh*
Dangolf: I can see why (unashamedly stares)
Pvt. Snuffy: Yup, this deck has gotten me thru many a boring radio watch. Speaking of which…
Dangolf: Yes? You got a glint in your eye, what is it?
Pvt. Snuffy: I was just wondering do you play spades?
Dangolf: Are you serious? We might be magic using D-Bee loving scum but who doesn’t play spades in the military?
Pvt. Snuffy: Excellent! Now we just need to get ourselves a couple of marks…I mean two more players. *grins ear to ear*
Dangolf: One from your side and one from mine sound good?
Pvt. Snuffy: That works, meet you back here in about 10 mikes.
Dangolf: mikes?
Pvt. Snuffy: Opps, sorry, army slang for minutes.
Dangolf: Oh, right. See you then.

Meanwhile Lt. Patterson and Elfinster have reached a conclusion…

Lt. Patterson: This is getting us nowhere!
Elfinster: Well that’s one thing we can agree on.
Lt. Patterson: Look let’s just table the rock head, I mean Golem issue for now ok?
Elfinster: Fine!
Lt. Patterson: Good. You still have to come up with 17 more points to win.
Elfinster: Well it’s about to be sixteen. (casts spell)
Lt. Patterson: This should be good…
Elfinster: I want you to take that over grown lighter at your side and shoot me. (points to C-27)
Lt. Patterson: (places hand on C27) Say again?
Elfinster: I want you to shoot me with your plasma cannon.
Lt. Patterson: Really? (lifts C-27, points towards Elfinster)
Elfinster: Yes! Unload your whole canister if you want.
Lt. Patterson: (mutters) I’ve been wanting to do that all day.
Elfinster: What was that?
Lt. Patterson: I said “it sure was a hot one today”. (Shoots Elfinster in the head)
Elfinster: (Plasma hits and dissipates) Hah! Now that’s something your oh so great technology can’t do! *looks pleased*
Lt. Patterson: (lowers C-27) You’re not dead…That’s not more of that mage armor is it? We already went over that.
Elfinster: Nope! With my command of magic I have now made myself Impervious to Energy.
Lt. Patterson: Huh. Like all energy?
Elfinster: Everything but kinetic. None of your lasers, plasma cannons and the like will work.
Lt. Patterson: Not kinetic though? So you mean Sgt. Cruise and his C-40 railgun could turn you into salsa extra chunky style? (hooks thumb over his shoulder at a SAMAS)
Elfinster: (nervous look) Well yah but that’s not the point. It’s something magic can do that your tech can’t. I get a point.
Lt. Patterson: Oh no, you get half just like for the other two we countered easy.
Elfinster: *grumbling* Fine…
Lt. Patterson: Hey what about vibro-blades?
Elfinster: What about them?
Lt. Patterson: Well if this spell makes you impervious to energy then a vibro-blade is just a high priced letter opener to you now right?
Elfinster: Um, well no, not really.
Lt. Patterson: Wait are you saying the energy field of a vibro-blade works but it’s not kinetic. That doesn’t make any sense.
Elfinster: *sighs* Look I didn’t create the spell ok? I just know what it does.
Lt. Patterson: (puts out hands in calming motion) Hey take it easy, just pointing it out…

While the Lt. and Ley-line walker were talking, their intrepid sidekicks have been finding new homes for their fellow’s credits….

Pvt. Snuffy: Guys! Don’t think of it as having lost 300 credits each…
Dangolf: Think of it instead as having purchased some very fine drink and an hour of entertainment.
Pvt. Snuffy: (watches their opponents leave, waves cheerfully at their backs) Come back soon! It was fun!
Dangolf: 300 credits each, not bad for an hour's work.
Pvt. Snuffy: Yah, at this rate I’ll have 2 months pay by the end of the night.
Dangolf: Hmm, you’re right. (looks off in the distance)
Pvt. Snuffy: Wait I know that look, I’ve seen it often enough whenever we’re about to do something really fun, sneaky and would get us in a lot of trouble with the CO.
Dangolf: Well I was just thinking…

Too be continued.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 11:00 am

LuckyJim wrote::lol: terrific stuff mate!!!! I'm bustin a gut here...

YES!, Very happy that you enjoyed this latest piece

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 1:29 pm

John Kronus wrote:Great work Toc Rat, keep it comming when you have time !!

Glad you liked it! Will keep them coming

Larsen · Unread post by **Larsen** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 11:09 am

Best topic on rifts board. You need to have change the title to include the words please sticky its so good. :-D

Larsen · Unread post by **Larsen** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 12:12 pm

LuckyJim wrote:
Larsen wrote:Best topic on rifts board. You need to have change the title to include the words please sticky its so good.

Agreed...

(yipppeeee!!!! 100 posts... )

um...below your name and picture it says 99 posts.......

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 6:55 pm

Thanks everyone for your support with this thread. I honestly can't believe that it's gone on for this long and you still want more. :-D

How does one go about making a thread "sticky"? I'd love to do that for this thread but am lacking the info on that

I just started a 4 days pass and so I will be writting another chapter in our on going story.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 6:56 pm

JayBuzz wrote:Lt. Jimmy Patterson? is someone a fan of Medal of Honor?
Great thread, though

Yah...I liked the first one the most. I just couldn't get enough of the Germans running around in the later stages saying "It's Jimmy Patterson!" :lol:

Hmmm, maybe I will include that in the next post...

Nekira Sudacne · Thu Jul 28, 2005 7:19 pm

Toc Rat wrote:Thanks everyone for your support with this thread. I honestly can't believe that it's gone on for this long and you still want more.

How does one go about making a thread "sticky"? I'd love to do that for this thread but am lacking the info on that

I just started a 4 days pass and so I will be writting another chapter in our on going story.

you have to ask a Moderator nicely to do so, as only they can make stickies.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 7:20 pm

Nekira Sudacne wrote:
Toc Rat wrote:Thanks everyone for your support with this thread. I honestly can't believe that it's gone on for this long and you still want more.

How does one go about making a thread "sticky"? I'd love to do that for this thread but am lacking the info on that

I just started a 4 days pass and so I will be writting another chapter in our on going story.

you have to ask a Moderator nicely to do so, as only they can make stickies.

Thought it would be something along those lines.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 12:05 pm

OK, I have asked one of the Moderators to make this a sticky thread. Hopefully he/she will like my humble request and approve

Unread post by **NMI** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:26 pm

Ask and ye shall recieve.
This will remain sticky for awhile.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:20 pm

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!