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in response to the GM Catch phrases....

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Okay how do you GM's get your Catch phrase revenge?

I always hate...

"Roll a D20 for me..."

This one always strikes fear into their hearts: "I need everyone to roll to save vs. *insert difficult throw here* with a minus 3."

"Woh, sucks to be you."

Roll a d20 from random time to time... and then when its a good roll, look slightly pleased and say "wow... he finally pulled it off... sweet"

"How much MDC do you have left?"
"Roll a D20 then roll iniative"
*GM Smiles* "......"

"How high were you flying?"

"Off in the distance you see a small child holding *insert item here* and laughing as you approach." Whenever I GM, my PC's fear children more than a Nightbane-Baal Rog-Dragon-Lizard Mage cross-breed. *ahem* Assuming that canon was changed.

EPIC wrote:or another good one that i have always enjoyed ... "while camping late at night, a hoard of hundreds of faerie folk invade your once peacefull privacy. they think your all funny looking and you are now their entertainment for the next few hours."

Grenades are surprisingly effective aginst farie hoards, actually.

Player: I draw my rune sword!

GM: Oh the one you found in the dungeon?

Player: Yeah, why?

GM: *rolling dice* No reason. *toothy grin*

As a GM and as a player I hate this one the most:

"Yeah, but..."

This one phrase guarantees what ever is being discussed atm will continue for at least another hour.

Occasionally, I will have one of my players working with me, usually the one who no one trusts. I will roll some dice and look at one of the other players. The note will say "Roll percentage tell me the number, roll a D20 and give me that number, then write a note to me and look at one of the other players." The note usually reads, "ha ha, we got 'em."

"Looks clear..."

I have no real phrase but my players do tend to get nervous when I look at them with that "cat that ate the canary" grin...

Barabas wrote:"You hear the sound of a chainsaw starting up." A reoccuring bad guy with a juicer chainsaw for a main weapon. The only one they haven't managed to execute for crossing thier paths.

Gotta love them Juicer-chainsaws

well some of my players fear the word Fairies. I have had one player to the point that we where start in phase-world and he still had to take lore Fairies.

In regards to Fae-kin;
"Dance monkey-boy...DANCE!"

"Roll to dodge rocket propelled chainsaw"

GM: "Oh, is that what you're going to do?" *evil grin* "No, no, go ahead."

"You turn to the West, and are destroyed..."

I originally made this one when I was running Vampire; one of the players ignored the Dominate discipline, acted out of character, so... an Antidiluvian handled the problem...
I use it rarely, but when I do...

"Yoh have a blip on the radar screen!"

"It took me two weeks to prepare for this adventure."

"Give me your character sheet."

"It hasn't been noted on your equipment list." (note: like fresh underware .)

"This beautiful lady is making a pass on you"

"A burly man with a scottish accent and a beard walks into the inn....."

All my Inn keepers used to have scottish accents. my group eventually got pissed and mad eme change that

"You said you're doing what? Hold on a second..."

:::grab random book, open to random page, point to random player:::

"Roll percentile."

:::look at random page, grimace slightly (the players know when I grimace, it's usually bad for them):::

Mutter, "Uh oh."

:::shut book suddenly:::

"Okay, what do you do next?"

My hubby, also a GM, asked me one time what did the roll cause in a particular game. I told him nothing except to cause a scare effect. He got a good laugh out of it. The other players still get looks of terror, even though I've done this in easily a dozen games over the last year (and my hubby has kept the secret).

Also during one game involving a haunted keep, I started out with "Wait! Which foot did you step with?" and kept asking at random "Which hand? Where precisely were you?", etc. Oh my gosh, they were jumping out of their skins, trying to retract actions, offering GM bribes like crazy, even though it all meant nothing.

"I am so so so sorry"
-after a natural 20 is rolled against a PC...

Vision2700 wrote:

DhAkael wrote:"I am so so so sorry"
-after a natural 20 is rolled against a PC...

^^^^^^ That is one of my best...

i agree with you on that

goodhometownboy wrote:

Vision2700 wrote:

DhAkael wrote:"I am so so so sorry"
-after a natural 20 is rolled against a PC...

^^^^^^ That is one of my best...

i agree with you on that

You're evil- you just like to see the life drain from the player's eyes... then again- when I'm GMing... I like to see that too

"That's your roll? Hmmm... This may sting a bit..."

"The Neo-Human -insert any action here-."

God I hate Neo-Humans, and so do most of my players.

My players hate it when I come out of nowhere with "Roll Perception Check" or "Roll for Initiative". It's my surprise attacks that usually hurt the worst. My wife started picking sixth sense for every character she had with psionics, so that lead me to creating a certain type of magic item (ring, necklace, whatever) that made the wearer undetectable to psionics. (Handy for the rogue classes.) It's amazing that woman is still married to me, actually.

"so your get your drink from the bar & hear the door open behind you" old classic die hard

***Behind GM Shield***
Rolls dice, grimaces,
***Peeks over shield***



SO.....Do you have a backup character.

I just had a fight with my wife...


everybody have backups. or
what was I killing you with or
im ******* pissed, where were we. or


im getting bored of the direction this campaign is going.

"Roll detect ambush"
*sound of dice rolling or picture of dyce-bot*

PC(s); "Yeah...made it"

"Looks clear....oh, BTW; the cyberknight takes a shot to the head"

PC(s): "WHAT?!"

"Don't you just hate snipers and long ranged weaponry?"

Karandor wrote:

Northern Ranger wrote:My players hate it when I come out of nowhere with "Roll Perception Check" or "Roll for Initiative". It's my surprise attacks that usually hurt the worst. My wife started picking sixth sense for every character she had with psionics, so that lead me to creating a certain type of magic item (ring, necklace, whatever) that made the wearer undetectable to psionics. (Handy for the rogue classes.) It's amazing that woman is still married to me, actually.

Heh our GM just ALWAYS waits for my TW to be on watch. Ok so who's watch is it now? Karandor? Ok roll initiative...

Sounds like he (or she) graduated from the Northern Ranger school of GMing. LOL

"You're out of water."


Instant pain.

Player: "Sense evil"
Me as GM: "You sense something ancient, evil and very very very amused at your antics...roll initiative!"

Nice. Althought the vague "Yes. Roll initiative" is good spice, too.

"The greater Balrogg breaks free from its bonds"

Haha that's a very good one.

CaptRory wrote:"Did you guys know sewer gas is flammable?"

Yep..that's a classic

My favorite line as GM:

So, who wants to take one for the team?

"So...HOW many e-clips does your character have? I just ask out of curiosity."

looking at an NPC's stats:
Man this guy sucks more than I thought, time to improvise.

"for a nominal fee"

keanpf wrote:"hmm, ok make a save vs. magic. and lethal poison. and... hold on.... pain."
"Are you sure you wanna open that door?"
"Hold on, can i borrow some dice, i don't have enough"
"So, none of you swimming, huh?"

This can be a killer, alot players take combat or other stat boosting skills in place of swiming. Scuba I often don't take, but swimming is must have skill.

"Alright, everyone have their characters ready? Great! Now you guys can watch some TV or something while I calculate your encumberance."

after purchasing an overly powerful weapon and the player asks

1 - 'can you now shrink it down to MY size?' PA sword to human sized
- 'does it still do the same damage?'

2 - 'i stick my gun into the Black Market guy's face and DEMAND all his magic weapons'

[saw it happen in a game ... was SOOOOO happy to be too far away to be of any real help or dying like another char did going to the ...... pc's rescue ]

still expecting some 'fashion driven' fem to ask with the atypical blond attitude 'does this come in pink? .. or come with a lace cover? .. '

LOL .......

*covers the mouth and tries to contain the mirth now

well she must have a crow or a raccoon for a totem animal ... they're both attracted to shineies ...