#42

[Braden Campbell]

I didn't get issue #41, but I'm wondering if there was a "coming next issue" box, so that we might know what's coming up next?

[glitterboy2098]

i don't think they plan that far ahead. in the Gateway to the megaverse podcast Wayne said he doesn't start thinking about the next rifter until the current one goes to print. so until there is an announcement none of us know.

though hopefully the authors of the articles chosen will be informed soon, and they are nice enough to inform us unofficially..

[NMI]

I didn't get issue #41, but I'm wondering if there was a "coming next issue" box, so that we might know what's coming up next?

Per Issue 41...
The Rifter #42...
Material for Heroes Unlimited
Material for Rifts
Material for Palladium Fantasy
The next, epic chapter of The Hammer of the Forge
Source material for the entire Palladium Megaverse
The latest on upcoming Robotech RPG Sourcebooks
The latest news and coming attractions. And maybe a big announcement. Please join us.

[BookWyrm]

#42 will contain the Answer to Life, The Megaverse & Everything.

[Braden Campbell]

The Rifter #42...
Material for Heroes Unlimited
Material for Rifts
Material for Palladium Fantasy
The next, epic chapter of The Hammer of the Forge
Source material for the entire Palladium Megaverse
The latest on upcoming Robotech RPG Sourcebooks
The latest news and coming attractions. And maybe a big announcement. Please join us.

Wow... that's pretty vague

[Rogue Shadow]

#42 will contain the Answer to Life, The Megaverse & Everything.

How did I know someone was going to go there.

[Aramanthus]

But that has to be contained within it's sacred pages! It is rumored issue #42 will also contain schematics of the Holy Hand grenade of antioch.

[BookWyrm]

Rogue Shadow: Hey, when you've read the books, listen to the BBC radio dramatization & watched the TV mini-series as many times as I have, it's a given!

Aramanthus: Complete with the full entry from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, Verses 9 through 21!

[zor_prime1]

Aramanthus: Complete with the full entry from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, Verses 9 through 21!

One of the most relevant instruction in modern combat recorded and well utilized by the legendary King Arthur himself. It's as relevant today as it was back then...

v16) First shalt thou take out the holy pin.
v17) Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
v18) Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.
v19) Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
v20) Five is right out.
v21) Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand-grenade of Antioch toward thy foe who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Amen."

Remember: Handle all of thy hand-grenades (and any other explosives) as though they were holy relics or thou mayest suffer the resulting fire and brimstone (shrapnel).

[BookWyrm]

Yea, indeed, Brother Zor, thou speakest with the wisdom of St. Attila himself.

Let's all steer clear of any coconut-bearing swallows.

[Josh Sinsapaugh]

Yea, indeed, Brother Zor, thou speakest with the wisdom of St. Attila himself.

Let's all steer clear of any coconut-bearing swallows.

African or European?

~ Josh

[glitterboy2098]

Aramanthus: Complete with the full entry from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, Verses 9 through 21!

...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [At this point, the friar is urged by Brother Maynard to "skip a bit, brother"]... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen

[Aramanthus]

I was leaving it yuou all to finish it. I don't have a DVD of it! So I couldn't give a perfect quote like several of you! Great job guys! I know I could count on you.

[glitterboy2098]

I was leaving it yuou all to finish it. I don't have a DVD of it! So I couldn't give a perfect quote like several of you! Great job guys! I know I could count on you.

actually i just looked it up on wikipedia...

[zor_prime1]

Yea, indeed, Brother Zor, thou speakest with the wisdom of St. Attila himself.

Let's all steer clear of any coconut-bearing swallows.

African or European?

~ Josh

Wha? I don't know that! aaahhhhh!

*Gets sprung into the abyss**

[zor_prime1]

I was leaving it yuou all to finish it. I don't have a DVD of it! So I couldn't give a perfect quote like several of you! Great job guys! I know I could count on you.

actually i just looked it up on wikipedia...

I have this part on MP3. I could quote it almost perfectly, but listened to it for the finer points.
I also as the Democracy segment. It still makes me laugh even though I've heard it a million times.

"Old woman..."
"MAN!"
"Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?"
"I'm thirty-seven."
"What?"
"I'm thirty-seven. I'm not OLD."
"Well I couldn't just call you 'man'."
"You could say 'Denis'."
"I didn't know you were called Denis."

[glitterboy2098]

Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out, did you?
Arthur: I did say I'm sorry about the "old woman" thing, but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treatin' me like an inferior.
Arthur: Well, I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king, eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, then? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress-
Dennis' Mother: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down 'ere - [notices Arthur] Ooh! How d'ye do?
Arthur: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
Dennis' Mother: King of the who?
Arthur: The Britons.
Dennis' Mother: Who are the Britons?
Arthur: Well, we all are, we are all Britons and I am your king.
Dennis' Mother: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Dennis: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class...
Dennis' Mother: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again!
Dennis: But that's what it's all about! If only people would realise...
Arthur: Please, please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
Dennis' Mother: No one lives there.
Arthur: Then who is your lord?
Dennis' Mother: We don't have a lord.
Arthur: what?
Dennis: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as sort-of-executive officer for the week...
Arthur: Yes.
Dennis: ... But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting...
Arthur: Yes, I see.
Dennis:... by a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs...
Arthur: [getting bored] Be quiet.
Dennis: or a two thirds majority in the case of more major...
Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Dennis' Mother: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
Arthur: I am your king!
Dennis' Mother: Well I didn't vote for you.
Arthur: you don't vote for kings
Dennis' mother: So how'd you become king then
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake,... [Angel chorus begins singing in background] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [Angel chorus ends] That is why I am your king!
Dennis: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Arthur: Be QUIET!
Dennis: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Arthur: SHUT UP!
Dennis: If I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistend bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Arthur: Shut up; will you SHUT UP?! [Grabs Dennis and shakes him]
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Arthur: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!
Arthur: BLOODY PEASANT!!
Dennis: Oh, what a giveaway. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?

[bigbobsr6000]

Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out...
[rewr!]
...your dead!
[rewr!]
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
Customer: Here's one.
Cart master: Ninepence.
Dead person: I'm not dead!
Cart master: What?
Customer: Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
Dead person: I'm not dead!
Cart master: 'ere. He says he's not dead!
Customer: Yes, he is.
Dead person: I'm not!
Cart master: He isn't?
Customer: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
Dead person: I'm getting better!
Customer: No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
Cart master: Oh, i can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
Dead person: I don't want to go on the cart!
Customer: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Cart master: I can't take him.
Dead person: I feel fine!
Customer: Well, do us a favour.
Cart master: I can't.
Customer: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
Cart master: No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Customer: Well, when's your next round?
Cart master: Thursday.
Dead person: I think I'll go for a walk.
Customer: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
Dead person: [singing] I feel happy. I feel happy.
[whop]
Customer: Ah, thanks very much.
Cart master: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Customer: Right. All right.
[howl]
[clop clop clop]
Who's that, then?
Cart master: I dunno. Must be a king.
Customer: Why?
Cart master: He hasn't got s**t all over him.

[zor_prime1]

Great stuff!

I'm curious to see what Palladium puts into #42 because it is in fact the answer to The Question of life. Could Rifter 42 be what was prophesied about by the great computer?

*Crosses his fingers hoping that his article makes it into issue 42*
(It does deal with answers on how to live and survive better in Palladium Fantasy and Rifts... )

[glitterboy2098]

:lol: Great stuff!

I'm curious to see what Palladium puts into #42 because it is in fact the answer to The Question of life. Could Rifter 42 be what was prophesied about by the great computer?

you mean the question to the answer of life the universe and everything?


my guess?
"how many more issues does palladium have to print before the palladium haters finally give up predicting palladium's doom?"

[bigbobsr6000]

"how many more issues does palladium have to print before the palladium haters finally give up predicting palladium's doom?"

There's just no pleasing some people. Thus, the doom sayers will continue. They'll be settin' on the porch of the "old folks" home as I/we will be there reading our latest edition of The Rifter. Old Doom Sayer says. "Didn't that company go bust a few years back?" I/We say, "Nope." as I/we turn the next page of our new Rifter and smile.

[BookWyrm]

*sits back with a BIG evil grin & enjoys the madness*

[bigbobsr6000]

You know, Old Doom Sayer sounds like a great O.C.C. doesn't it? Predicting an apocalypse that never happened.

That would be interesting.

[Braden Campbell]

Gimme back my thread, you pirates!!

Anyway, here is the #42 description from the catalogue:

The Rifter® #42
Another great issue of The Rifter®. Don’t miss out.

Rifts® Wormwood™ addenda. (written byyours truely )

Rifts® Coalition States™ source material.

Nightbane® source material and adventure ideas.

The latest chapter of Hammer of the Forge™, and more!

News, coming attractions, lots of art, and lots of fun.

96 pages – Cat. No. 142.

[bigbobsr6000]

AAaarrrr! Me matey. Forums we be raidin', threads we be a'stealin'.

[BookWyrm]

For my part in the hijacking, I appologise, but once I saw the title of this thread, I gave into temptation.

[Josh Sinsapaugh]

Gimme back my thread, you pirates!!

Anyway, here is the #42 description from the catalogue:

The Rifter® #42
Another great issue of The Rifter®. Don’t miss out.

Rifts® Wormwood™ addenda. (written byyours truely )

Rifts® Coalition States™ source material.

Nightbane® source material and adventure ideas.

The latest chapter of Hammer of the Forge™, and more!

News, coming attractions, lots of art, and lots of fun.

96 pages – Cat. No. 142.

Looks like I'll be renewing my subscription with my next paycheck...

~ Josh

[zor_prime1]

Looks like I didn't make this issue. I'll just keep working.