randomer item table

Ley Line walkers, Juicers, Coalition Troops, Samas, Tolkeen, & The Federation Of Magic. Come together here to discuss all things Rifts®.

Moderators: Immortals, Supreme Beings, Old Ones

User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

Borast wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:62 - A revolver longbow. A long bow with standard range and damage but doesn't require so much time to pull an arrow and nock it. For six shots the fire rate for the bow is doubled.

So...it fires revolvers? ;) :lol:

UH... Sure. :NH:
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
CyCo
Hero
Posts: 1158
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2000 1:01 am
Location: Terra Australis...
Contact:

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by CyCo »

#66

A monkey. Answers to Zer0 Kay.


8p
Image
Eureka!
I Want Rifts : Australia II & III...!!
User avatar
The Oh So Amazing Nate
Hero
Posts: 1458
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Location: West Central region of Indiana

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by The Oh So Amazing Nate »

#67 Cyco, who is Zer0 Kay's father's brother... so, a monkey's uncle.
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

Ook ook, fling poo, job done
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
taalismn
Priest
Posts: 48669
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by taalismn »

Zer0 Kay wrote:
Borast wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:62 - A revolver longbow. A long bow with standard range and damage but doesn't require so much time to pull an arrow and nock it. For six shots the fire rate for the bow is doubled.

So...it fires revolvers? ;) :lol:

UH... Sure. :NH:



I remember something on a smaller scale appearing in the sci-fi novel Cold War In a Country Garden. Obviously inspired by Fantastic Voyage, the protagonists were part of an experiment in shrinking humans to tiny size(about 2-3 millimeters) and are trying out how to survive in the titular country garden. One of the 'micronauts', a survivalist and big game hunter, devises a tiny multi-shot crossbow to be made and delivered to them, as the weapon is more effective than firearms on that scale. It had the option of firing either metal bolts or hollow quarrels meant to be filled with toxins the micronauts harvested from plants or insects. The first half of the novel is pretty good reading because it's messing with your sense of scale, but them meanders into the cold war portion with a trip to plant miniature listening devices on a Soviet general's scalp.
Pretty amusing old-style sci-fi.
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
User avatar
abtex
Champion
Posts: 2294
Joined: Sat Jan 04, 2003 2:01 am
Location: Heart in Texas

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by abtex »

#68. You come across a Strange Polearm. It has a block shaped object, in place of the blade. This 'Blade' is soft, colored and has deodorant smell, that seems to be strong enough to cover a Hellpit's odor. Well a small one at least.

Attached to 'Blade' are tassels that have an arrow pointing forward and the burn words "taali...", "armpit" and "...lismn". The meaning is unclear. But to add the mystery, there are other ones that have arrows pointing to grip with "CyCo" on them.

:D
I hate it when my mind wonders,
Because I have no idea what it will bring back with it.

taalismn says -- Librarians assume the role of scholar-priest-kings in an increasinly illiterate society...

taalismn says -- Abtex...Unofficial archival mole for the fictional arms industry again with the sites that make you blink... :shock: :-D
Banana Prince
D-Bee
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2016 2:37 pm

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Banana Prince »

69- A pair of socks with three mints printed on each one.
70- Cardboard box marked "To North Wing"
71- A Tickle-Me-Elmo
72- A spoon - Strong against soup, weak against ham (from South Park Stick of Truth)
Banana Prince
D-Bee
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2016 2:37 pm

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Banana Prince »

Zer0 Kay wrote:
abtex wrote:
taalismn wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:
taalismn wrote:65. Nerfed BoomGun---Looks like a relly powerful, souped-up BoomGun. It looks the same, weighs the same, operates the same...except that when fired, the ammo is transformed into harmless sponge-rubber projectiles. No matter how one tries to tinker with the innards, or change the ammunition, the result is the same; absolutely harmless BFG.


Well if we broke from SDC no matter how many rounds never equal MDC to .50 cal SDC = MDC with enough rounds... Then with enough rounds no SDC becomes SDC. ;)


It does Tickle Damage..... :|

How large are the bruises? :eek: :D


Well if it is Tickle Damage then none. If it is Structural Tickle Damage than there may be an itching or burning at the site, sores may occur in some cases, in the worst you may become lethargic and find yourself extreme susceptible to any sickness. Remember there may be no cure for Structural Tickle Damage but there is always a treatment since people can't seem to keep their dart guns in their holsters.


In this case, roll for Save v. Tickle (PE bonuses apply). :lol:
User avatar
abtex
Champion
Posts: 2294
Joined: Sat Jan 04, 2003 2:01 am
Location: Heart in Texas

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by abtex »

73 -- You encounter a Large Billboard that read:
"Welcome to the Forums, Banana Prince!!
Stop and post for a while!!"
I hate it when my mind wonders,
Because I have no idea what it will bring back with it.

taalismn says -- Librarians assume the role of scholar-priest-kings in an increasinly illiterate society...

taalismn says -- Abtex...Unofficial archival mole for the fictional arms industry again with the sites that make you blink... :shock: :-D
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

74. A sign on a fence that reads:
Warning:
Abtex present
Do not encourage the Mutant Duckbilled Platypus
...
...
...
He likes to lick people
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

Hey banana prince, careful with noting stuff like the Spoon, some on the forums may consider the non-descript, non-statted item to be an attempt and conversion and therefore a copyright infringement even though in this particular thread it couldn't be taken as anything more than satire and therefore allowed by copyright law. :) But some people like that still come through.

Oh, welcome to the Forum.
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
abtex
Champion
Posts: 2294
Joined: Sat Jan 04, 2003 2:01 am
Location: Heart in Texas

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by abtex »

Banana Prince, if you want there is a list of links to the last 12 random items down be low:
Random Items Combined...

That's Zer0 Kay way of saying "Hello".
Read the Rules for more insight.
Forums of the Megaverse® Rules
I hate it when my mind wonders,
Because I have no idea what it will bring back with it.

taalismn says -- Librarians assume the role of scholar-priest-kings in an increasinly illiterate society...

taalismn says -- Abtex...Unofficial archival mole for the fictional arms industry again with the sites that make you blink... :shock: :-D
User avatar
CyCo
Hero
Posts: 1158
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2000 1:01 am
Location: Terra Australis...
Contact:

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by CyCo »

Strange, I posted a reply to Abtex's post having a dig at me. I don't really remember exactly what I said, but it was a (friendly) dig back at Abtex. Did anyone take offense, so it was removed?

Welcome Banana Prince. Be warned, some around here have minions..... ;)

so....

#75

A large individual, wearing a large one piece bodysuit which encompass the head but not the face. Possibly has some sort of goggles built into the head piece, but they _could_ be eyes....Also has some sort of antenna on his head. He's muttering something about being nigh invulnerable and wondering where Arthur is, then yells "SPOOOOOOON!!" at the top of his very loud voice, then runs off into the middle distance.

(no stats. Completely up to the GM's discretion. Otherwise might be regarded as a conversion of anothers IP and we don't want that now, do we kidlets?) 8p
Image
Eureka!
I Want Rifts : Australia II & III...!!
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

abtex wrote:Banana Prince, if you want there is a list of links to the last 12 random items down be low:
Random Items Combined...

That's Zer0 Kay way of saying "Hello".
Read the Rules for more insight.
Forums of the Megaverse® Rules


And also Banana Prince, if you or anyone else for that matter is interested, I have the current completed lists in an excel spread sheet that you can either put a D12 and D20 roll into to pull the item or have the spreadsheet pull a random item on its own. If anyone is interested email me with "random item list" in the topic. My email is Ramease.shaw@gmail.com
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
abtex
Champion
Posts: 2294
Joined: Sat Jan 04, 2003 2:01 am
Location: Heart in Texas

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by abtex »

CyCo wrote:Strange, I posted a reply to abtex's post having a dig at me. I don't really remember exactly what I said, but it was a (friendly) dig back at abtex. Did anyone take offense, so it was removed?


Was that the polearm that you would use to 'Attack' taalismn's Hellpits underarms?
CyCo wrote:In other words, they're taalismans armpits. Dude, use some deodorant for hells sake!!

8p

Repost it. The topic can always use something new, recycled or Blue.
I hate it when my mind wonders,
Because I have no idea what it will bring back with it.

taalismn says -- Librarians assume the role of scholar-priest-kings in an increasinly illiterate society...

taalismn says -- Abtex...Unofficial archival mole for the fictional arms industry again with the sites that make you blink... :shock: :-D
User avatar
CyCo
Hero
Posts: 1158
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2000 1:01 am
Location: Terra Australis...
Contact:

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by CyCo »

abtex wrote:
CyCo wrote:Strange, I posted a reply to abtex's post having a dig at me. I don't really remember exactly what I said, but it was a (friendly) dig back at abtex. Did anyone take offense, so it was removed?


Was that the polearm that you would use to 'Attack' taalismn's Hellpits underarms?
CyCo wrote:In other words, they're taalismans armpits. Dude, use some deodorant for hells sake!!

8p

Repost it. The topic can always use something new, recycled or Blue.


Yeah, it was a response to your deodorant-polearm post, but it seems to have disappeared. Most likely el Jeffe swooped in and took it. I really don't remember what my reply was, it was a very late nite post. lol
Image
Eureka!
I Want Rifts : Australia II & III...!!
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

abtex wrote:
CyCo wrote:Strange, I posted a reply to abtex's post having a dig at me. I don't really remember exactly what I said, but it was a (friendly) dig back at abtex. Did anyone take offense, so it was removed?


Was that the polearm that you would use to 'Attack' taalismn's Hellpits underarms?
CyCo wrote:In other words, they're taalismans armpits. Dude, use some deodorant for hells sake!!

8p

Repost it. The topic can always use something new, recycled or Blue.

As long as it is not too blue, cuz the mods and good taste frown on that.
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
CyCo
Hero
Posts: 1158
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2000 1:01 am
Location: Terra Australis...
Contact:

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by CyCo »

#76

A spirit stone. When dropped in any flavored non alcoholic beverage, it will make said non alcoholic beverage alcoholic of the same flavour. Example, dropped in a 'cola', it could possibly taste like a bourbon & cola, if that's what the owner wishes. Or if dropped in a non alcoholic pina colada, it would become the alcoholic version. If dropped in a container of pure water by a priest or some other holyman, it instead makes holy water.

Can effect up to 4 gallons per day. As you can imagine, they're very popular down in or near the Vampire Kingdoms, both for on duty, and off duty. ;)
Image
Eureka!
I Want Rifts : Australia II & III...!!
User avatar
say652
Palladin
Posts: 6609
Joined: Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:32 am
Comment: Avid Cyborg and Braka Braka enthusiast.
Location: 'Murica

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by say652 »

#77.

A pack of Tiger Raptor, running at the party.
User avatar
The Oh So Amazing Nate
Hero
Posts: 1458
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Location: West Central region of Indiana

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by The Oh So Amazing Nate »

CyCo wrote:#76

A spirit stone. When dropped in any flavored non alcoholic beverage, it will make said non alcoholic beverage alcoholic of the same flavour. Example, dropped in a 'cola', it could possibly taste like a bourbon & cola, if that's what the owner wishes. Or if dropped in a non alcoholic pina colada, it would become the alcoholic version. If dropped in a container of pure water by a priest or some other holyman, it instead makes holy water.

Can effect up to 4 gallons per day. As you can imagine, they're very popular down in or near the Vampire Kingdoms, both for on duty, and off duty. ;)


what if I drop it in milk?
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:
User avatar
Blue_Lion
Knight
Posts: 6238
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2001 1:01 am
Location: Clone Lab 27

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Blue_Lion »

The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
CyCo wrote:#76

A spirit stone. When dropped in any flavored non alcoholic beverage, it will make said non alcoholic beverage alcoholic of the same flavour. Example, dropped in a 'cola', it could possibly taste like a bourbon & cola, if that's what the owner wishes. Or if dropped in a non alcoholic pina colada, it would become the alcoholic version. If dropped in a container of pure water by a priest or some other holyman, it instead makes holy water.

Can effect up to 4 gallons per day. As you can imagine, they're very popular down in or near the Vampire Kingdoms, both for on duty, and off duty. ;)


what if I drop it in milk?

White Russian
The Clones are coming you shall all be replaced, but who is to say you have not been replaced already.

Master of Type-O and the obvios.

Soon my army oc clones and winged-monkies will rule the world but first, must .......

I may debate canon and RAW, but the games I run are highly house ruled. So I am not debating for how I play but about how the system works as written.
User avatar
bobharly
Explorer
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2016 1:15 am
Location: Upland California

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by bobharly »

#78: Tooth brush and a pack of clean Spiderman Briefs.
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

#79 A full set of spiderman underoos, guess the poor kid had a blow out... and I don't mean tires
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
taalismn
Priest
Posts: 48669
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by taalismn »

#80 Pre-Rifts Set of Packaged Underwear--- Looks perfectly wearable out of the package. Only this is exploding underwear, apparently meant for unconventional warfare(i.e. terrorism) but never used when NEMA introduced more comprehensive security measures and scanners. Originally detonated by electronic means, but by this point the explosives have deteriorated so much that static electricity, temperatures in excess of 104 degrees F, or a sudden shock(like sitting down hard, or a hard slap to the buttocks) will set them off. Fortunately the explosives have also deteriorated in force so much that they only do about 3d6 SDC to a 5 ft radius.
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

#81 Pre-Packaged set of Rifts Underwear--- Look like a set of normal underwear that just happen to be of the preferred type that the finder likes to wear. When the underwear is put on there is a 10% chance a rift will open up in them, 50% when within 20' of a leyline. The wearer will feel (1d4):
1- A burning sensation (no damage)
2- Like the fabric is VERY breathable
4- VERY wet (external evidence to the contrary)
5- Like your junk just got covered in warm mushy stuff
apparently it is a rift to the elemental planes
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

19 more and it is a new list for the automated SSS... as long as there weren't any gaps... again. :)
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
taalismn
Priest
Posts: 48669
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by taalismn »

#82 A Pair of Shorts W/ A Dimensional Pocket In It: Roll a 1d10 on the following for the contents of the Pocket:
1 Nothing
2 Set of car keys to a pre-Rifts car(luxury model).
3 Woman's thong(leather or lace)
4 Set of credit cards(since expired, or, if you somehow manage to read them, overdrawn/canceled)
5 1d4 e-clips
6 Keys to the penthouse of a Marche Noir boss's penthouse apartment in the Relic
7 Rattlesnake in suspended animation. It comes back alive in 1d8 seconds after being pulled out of the pocket, and it's in a bad mood.
8 1d8 credits in spare change
9 Armed mousetrap. Take 1 SDC to the fingers when it trips.
10 Roll again on these lists
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

I LOVE the possibilities of 10 :)

#83 A pair of shorts

One depicts a cartoonized version of an Anthropomorphic Prosek giving a non-human supremacist speach
The other depicts a cartoonized version of a angry Erin Tarn in Nazi style uniform giving a human supremacist speach

Each short is in a small can marked Man in a Small tower.
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
taalismn
Priest
Posts: 48669
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by taalismn »

#84 Can of Whupass---Whoever opens the can, gets their ass whupped(down to 1 MDC or 1 SDC and 1 Hit Point).
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
User avatar
CyCo
Hero
Posts: 1158
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2000 1:01 am
Location: Terra Australis...
Contact:

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by CyCo »

It lives again!!

#85.

A shower in a can. When opened, it releases a rain storm. If released near a lay line, it's a lay line storm. If released near a nexus, it's like one of the Bermuda Triangle storms! Duration is d66 hours.
Image
Eureka!
I Want Rifts : Australia II & III...!!
User avatar
taalismn
Priest
Posts: 48669
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by taalismn »

#86 Can of Spam
An innocuous-looking canister with an inviting logo. Pulling the pull-tap to open, however, triggers a one-shot high-powered EMP device that transmits a sophisticated radio-born computer virus to every open receiver in a 1 mile radius. Anything electronic with an EM receiver(radios, televisions, Wi-Fi connections) will be saturated with a succession of canned commercial advertisements for everything from medical back-braces and sexual potency enhancers to free cruises and the repeatable secrets of Wall Street billionaires. These messages will continue to saturate the radio outputs, HUDs, and monitors of infected systems as long as they have power, but turning them off and then on again simply boots up the spam virus again, in the case of computers and computerized/chipped systems. Cyborgs with affected systems and neural AI robots will be at HALF strike/dodge/parry bonuses due to the GARBAGE crowding their displays.
Getting rid of the spam will require wiping and reinstalling from clean backups for computers, or a Computer Programming roll at -15% to counter the virus. Regular radios and TVs can be cleaned by just turning them off and then on again.
The EM generator self-destructs when triggered, and leaves little or no usable evidence as to who created the device.
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
User avatar
The Oh So Amazing Nate
Hero
Posts: 1458
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Location: West Central region of Indiana

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by The Oh So Amazing Nate »

Taal, great write up. I have one question though. How does it taste on a sandwich? I like mine sliced, pan fried, and served on a bun with ketchup.
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:
User avatar
taalismn
Priest
Posts: 48669
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by taalismn »

The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:Taal, great write up. I have one question though. How does it taste on a sandwich? I like mine sliced, pan fried, and served on a bun with ketchup.


If you have a wifi-programmable microwave and it's operating when this thing is on? Your food will taste of salty, almost inedible, meat byproduct...or past-sell-by-date over-the-counter 'stimulant' drugs.
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

#87 Recycling Can

Any non-organic material you are touching when you touch the can is separated into the smallest unit of its natural, elemental, state. The material can be found in separate digitally labeled, RDIS (meaning it is a tray that is not Time And, just a Relative Dimension In Space) trays within the can... there is no reverse and your likely only to get 1000th of what the item(s) was/were worth.
It has many other uses
Running short of a particular material and you happen to be sitting in a junk yard?
Maybe your patient has a bullet or other foreign non-organic material dangerously lodged in their body?
Need a large black armored arcology removed from North America?
***Caution: when loading into a non-organic launcher please remember that you can not touch the launcher as long as your holding the can, the can... can but you can't... also remember fillings, crowns, pacemakers and well many cyborg parts are not organic, oh and most dentures too... hopefully you don't have any screws in your bones, but I'm rambling now*** :roll:
AND these are just a few possibilities

Sorry the can cannot make Julian fries
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
taalismn
Priest
Posts: 48669
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by taalismn »

88 Re-Cycle
Your favorite childhood bicycle(or tricycle, or big-wheels) has apparently appeared by the side of the road, seemingly restored to all its original glory. The 'cycle is actually a Haunting Entity which has become fixated and locked (in solid ectoplasmic form) on the memory of your old ride that it has somehow plucked from your memory. It will perform just like your old cycle, plus has the powers of the entity, and will continue to follow you, or appear next to you and your possessions, until either destroyed or otherwise dispelled by anti-entity means. The entity means no malice; it's just locked in that form which seems to have good associations for you.
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
User avatar
The Oh So Amazing Nate
Hero
Posts: 1458
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Location: West Central region of Indiana

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by The Oh So Amazing Nate »

Zer0 Kay wrote:#87 Recycling Can

Any non-organic material you are touching when you touch the can is separated into the smallest unit of its natural, elemental, state. The material can be found in separate digitally labeled, RDIS (meaning it is a tray that is not Time And, just a Relative Dimension In Space) trays within the can... there is no reverse and your likely only to get 1000th of what the item(s) was/were worth.
It has many other uses
Running short of a particular material and you happen to be sitting in a junk yard?
Maybe your patient has a bullet or other foreign non-organic material dangerously lodged in their body?
Need a large black armored arcology removed from North America?
***Caution: when loading into a non-organic launcher please remember that you can not touch the launcher as long as your holding the can, the can... can but you can't... also remember fillings, crowns, pacemakers and well many cyborg parts are not organic, oh and most dentures too... hopefully you don't have any screws in your bones, but I'm rambling now*** :roll:
AND these are just a few possibilities

Sorry the can cannot make Julian fries


Dear lord think of the havoc you could wreak on Borg's, PA's, and the cyberneticaly augmented!
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:#87 Recycling Can

Any non-organic material you are touching when you touch the can is separated into the smallest unit of its natural, elemental, state. The material can be found in separate digitally labeled, RDIS (meaning it is a tray that is not Time And, just a Relative Dimension In Space) trays within the can... there is no reverse and your likely only to get 1000th of what the item(s) was/were worth.
It has many other uses
Running short of a particular material and you happen to be sitting in a junk yard?
Maybe your patient has a bullet or other foreign non-organic material dangerously lodged in their body?
Need a large black armored arcology removed from North America?
***Caution: when loading into a non-organic launcher please remember that you can not touch the launcher as long as your holding the can, the can... can but you can't... also remember fillings, crowns, pacemakers and well many cyborg parts are not organic, oh and most dentures too... hopefully you don't have any screws in your bones, but I'm rambling now*** :roll:
AND these are just a few possibilities

Sorry the can cannot make Julian fries


Dear lord think of the havoc you could wreak on Borg's, PA's, and the cyberneticaly augmented!


What? No worse than the Mirror Wall from Nightspawn, at least this one can be dodged.
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

taalismn wrote:88 Re-Cycle
Your favorite childhood bicycle(or tricycle, or big-wheels) has apparently appeared by the side of the road, seemingly restored to all its original glory. The 'cycle is actually a Haunting Entity which has become fixated and locked (in solid ectoplasmic form) on the memory of your old ride that it has somehow plucked from your memory. It will perform just like your old cycle, plus has the powers of the entity, and will continue to follow you, or appear next to you and your possessions, until either destroyed or otherwise dispelled by anti-entity means. The entity means no malice; it's just locked in that form which seems to have good associations for you.

http://fairlyoddparents.wikia.com/wiki/ ... (character)
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

#89 Rey's Cycle
Looks like a giant version of your childhood ride (bicycle, tricycle, moped, whatever...cycle) but when you touch it in the process of marveling at it a overcybered Brodkil rounds the corner and starts yelling at you for touching his ride. 1d10 other's round the corner on their similar rides... and they're gunning for you.

Roll initiative
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
taalismn
Priest
Posts: 48669
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by taalismn »

#90 Broadside---A wide (50+ ft wide)swathe of landscape next to the character group just vanishes in an area-of-effect detonation, missing the group by a matter of 1d4x10 yards, deafening them, and pelting them with thrown-up dirt. The killzone would appear to be the result of multiple cannon shots , or a barrage of projectiles from an unknown source. Lucky miss or ranging shots? Anybody want to stick around to find out?
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
User avatar
The Oh So Amazing Nate
Hero
Posts: 1458
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:29 am
Location: West Central region of Indiana

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by The Oh So Amazing Nate »

Zer0 Kay wrote:
What? No worse than the Mirror Wall from Nightspawn, at least this one can be dodged.


I've never played Nightbane/spawn, and admittedly can't get more than few pages into the book without my brain losing interest or becoming distracted by literally anything else. Not saying it's a bad game or that it doesn't have merits, just that I can't get in to it. So all that said, I'll take your word for it as I have no idea what the Mirrorwall spell does.
Look upon me and tremble ye masses. For I am The Necroposter!
keir451 wrote:Amazing Nate; Thanks for your support!

Razzinold wrote:And the award for best witty retort to someone reporting a minor vehicular collision goes to:
The Oh So Amazing Nate!

Nate, you sir win the internet for today! You've definitely earned the "oh so amazing" part of your name today. :lol:
User avatar
taalismn
Priest
Posts: 48669
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by taalismn »

#91 Side Orders---A table cloth with a tempting basket of food...side entrees, specifically(bread sticks, salad, fried potatoes, etc.), that practically screams psychically "eat me!". If seeing perfectly good food, well-presented, by the trail-side, in the middle of nowhere, doesn't just sound 'TRAP!' alarms in people's heads, you deserve what's coming next;
Roll for the following:
1 Faerie Food---Oh, it's fast food alright; anybody eating it will have a case of the 'runs' for the next 1d8 minutes. The faerie-folk, just out of sight, will be laughing their heads off.
2 Psychic Decoy---Anybody grabbing a bite to eat will discover the magic trap underneath....a Pitfall trap.
3 Alien Parasites---Cunning ploy to get inside a warm host. Think psionic tapeworms. You've been wormed.
4 Bloat Bioweapon---Once you eat, roll vs psionic attack or keep eating until you're bloated and hardly able to move(HALF all HtH bonuses) for 1d4 hours. 50% chance the trapsetters will be by to check on what they've caught.
5 Cholesterol Bomb---Same as above, only roll versus lethal poison for clogged arteries.
6 Weightwatcher Trap---Anybody giving in to temptation reaching for the oh so fattening food gets tazered, with FORTY THOUSAND VOLTS OF RAW NAKED POWER . That will teach you to stick to your diet.
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

The Oh So Amazing Nate wrote:
Zer0 Kay wrote:
What? No worse than the Mirror Wall from Nightspawn, at least this one can be dodged.


I've never played Nightbane/spawn, and admittedly can't get more than few pages into the book without my brain losing interest or becoming distracted by literally anything else. Not saying it's a bad game or that it doesn't have merits, just that I can't get in to it. So all that said, I'll take your word for it as I have no idea what the Mirrorwall spell does.


Not a spell it is the dimensional barrier to the Nightlands. So if a random rift opens up there and a borg walks through it... they're a pile of organic parts on the other end.
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

taalismn wrote:#90 Broadside---A wide (50+ ft wide)swathe of landscape next to the character group just vanishes in an area-of-effect detonation, missing the group by a matter of 1d4x10 yards, deafening them, and pelting them with thrown-up dirt. The killzone would appear to be the result of multiple cannon shots , or a barrage of projectiles from an unknown source. Lucky miss or ranging shots? Anybody want to stick around to find out?



LOL

#92 Broad's Hide
As you are innocently walking around a female with an extremely torn and burnt outfit falls from the sky (in through a window) landing on her butt facing away from you. The momentum sends her tumbling in your direction she comes to a stop right in front of you on her back with her feet over her head. Her eyes are closed and she just keeps saying 'itai'. Her short skirt has flipped up and her underwear are plainly visible. When she opens her eyes, even if you are looking away at the time she hastily jumps up yells "hentai" and slaps you. Take 1D6 MDC (if the PC would die take pitty and make it 1d4x10 SDC), you are sent into the air spinning. Inexplicably the slap is heard in orbit. She runs off red faced. Freaking gyaru dragons!
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

taalismn wrote:#91 Side Orders---A table cloth with a tempting basket of food...side entrees, specifically(bread sticks, salad, fried potatoes, etc.), that practically screams psychically "eat me!". If seeing perfectly good food, well-presented, by the trail-side, in the middle of nowhere, doesn't just sound 'TRAP!' alarms in people's heads, you deserve what's coming next;
Roll for the following:
1 Faerie Food---Oh, it's fast food alright; anybody eating it will have a case of the 'runs' for the next 1d8 minutes. The faerie-folk, just out of sight, will be laughing their heads off.
2 Psychic Decoy---Anybody grabbing a bite to eat will discover the magic trap underneath....a Pitfall trap.
3 Alien Parasites---Cunning ploy to get inside a warm host. Think psionic tapeworms. You've been wormed.
4 Bloat Bioweapon---Once you eat, roll vs psionic attack or keep eating until you're bloated and hardly able to move(HALF all HtH bonuses) for 1d4 hours. 50% chance the trapsetters will be by to check on what they've caught.
5 Cholesterol Bomb---Same as above, only roll versus lethal poison for clogged arteries.
6 Weightwatcher Trap---Anybody giving in to temptation reaching for the oh so fattening food gets tazered, with FORTY THOUSAND VOLTS OF RAW NAKED POWER . That will teach you to stick to your diet.

#93 Side Order 93
Some guy in white EBA shoots at you yelling "Not just the Geedais, it's you too!" Inexplicably with all the shots fired you are unscathed and the guy in the white EBA is taken down by some teddybears, who drag him away. However, the environment your in is completely hole riddled and begins falling apart. Take necessary actions or face the consequences.
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

Yes Taal, I am going to finish this by taking each one of your ideas and making it worse.
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
taalismn
Priest
Posts: 48669
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by taalismn »

94: -93- That's the number of pieces of some other mook you find by the wayside, just before a crazed Thornhead Demon lunges out from behind cover, screaming "94!!!!!" Bets as to what it's referring to?
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

95: A great tentacle demon
...Hentai?!?!?! Yes unfortunately you are correct. GM roll attack +5 to sodomize... no we know what they did, this thing is going for gomorrahmy . Player roll defense +10 orifice preservation instincts. If dodge succeeds demon sulks away. If dodge doesn't succeed you can't walk, or dispose of waste, or breathe properly for the next 1d12 months
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

So somehow we got off on the list... never mind it isn't some how it is completely CyCo's fault viewtopic.php?f=8&t=49583&start=1150#p2876235
:P

So here are the first few posts dragged from the previous. I replaced the ones that required the numbers to be with them in the previous list and moved whatever was there here.


1 - Rey's Cycle
Looks like a giant version of your childhood ride (bicycle, tricycle, moped, whatever...cycle) but when you touch it in the process of marveling at it a overcybered Brodkil rounds the corner and starts yelling at you for touching his ride. 1d10 other's round the corner on their similar rides... and they're gunning for you.

Roll initiative

2 - Broadside---A wide (50+ ft wide)swathe of landscape next to the character group just vanishes in an area-of-effect detonation, missing the group by a matter of 1d4x10 yards, deafening them, and pelting them with thrown-up dirt. The killzone would appear to be the result of multiple cannon shots , or a barrage of projectiles from an unknown source. Lucky miss or ranging shots? Anybody want to stick around to find out?

3 - Side Orders---A table cloth with a tempting basket of food...side entrees, specifically(bread sticks, salad, fried potatoes, etc.), that practically screams psychically "eat me!". If seeing perfectly good food, well-presented, by the trail-side, in the middle of nowhere, doesn't just sound 'TRAP!' alarms in people's heads, you deserve what's coming next;
Roll for the following:
1 Faerie Food---Oh, it's fast food alright; anybody eating it will have a case of the 'runs' for the next 1d8 minutes. The faerie-folk, just out of sight, will be laughing their heads off.
2 Psychic Decoy---Anybody grabbing a bite to eat will discover the magic trap underneath....a Pitfall trap.
3 Alien Parasites---Cunning ploy to get inside a warm host. Think psionic tapeworms. You've been wormed.
4 Bloat Bioweapon---Once you eat, roll vs psionic attack or keep eating until you're bloated and hardly able to move(HALF all HtH bonuses) for 1d4 hours. 50% chance the trapsetters will be by to check on what they've caught.
5 Cholesterol Bomb---Same as above, only roll versus lethal poison for clogged arteries.
6 Weightwatcher Trap---Anybody giving in to temptation reaching for the oh so fattening food gets tazered, with FORTY THOUSAND VOLTS OF RAW NAKED POWER . That will teach you to stick to your diet.

4 - Broad's Hide
As you are innocently walking around a female with an extremely torn and burnt outfit falls from the sky (in through a window) landing on her butt facing away from you. The momentum sends her tumbling in your direction she comes to a stop right in front of you on her back with her feet over her head. Her eyes are closed and she just keeps saying 'itai'. Her short skirt has flipped up and her underwear are plainly visible. When she opens her eyes, even if you are looking away at the time she hastily jumps up yells "hentai" and slaps you. Take 1D6 MDC (if the PC would die take pitty and make it 1d4x10 SDC), you are sent into the air spinning. Inexplicably the slap is heard in orbit. She runs off red faced. Freaking gyaru dragons!

5 - Pre-Packaged set of Rifts Underwear--- Look like a set of normal underwear that just happen to be of the preferred type that the finder likes to wear. When the underwear is put on there is a 10% chance a rift will open up in them, 50% when within 20' of a leyline. The wearer will feel (1d4):
1- A burning sensation (no damage)
2- Like the fabric is VERY breathable
4- VERY wet (external evidence to the contrary)
5- Like your junk just got covered in warm mushy stuff
apparently it is a rift to the elemental planes

6 - A Pair of Shorts W/ A Dimensional Pocket In It: Roll a 1d10 on the following for the contents of the Pocket:
1 Nothing
2 Set of car keys to a pre-Rifts car(luxury model).
3 Woman's thong(leather or lace)
4 Set of credit cards(since expired, or, if you somehow manage to read them, overdrawn/canceled)
5 1d4 e-clips
6 Keys to the penthouse of a Marche Noir boss's penthouse apartment in the Relic
7 Rattlesnake in suspended animation. It comes back alive in 1d8 seconds after being pulled out of the pocket, and it's in a bad mood.
8 1d8 credits in spare change
9 Armed mousetrap. Take 1 SDC to the fingers when it trips.
10 Roll again on these lists

7 - A great tentacle demon
...Hentai?!?!?! Yes unfortunately you are correct. GM roll attack +5 to sodomize... no we know what they did, this thing is going for gomorrahmy . Player roll defense +10 orifice preservation instincts. If dodge succeeds demon sulks away. If dodge doesn't succeed you can't walk, or dispose of waste, or breathe properly for the next 1d12 months
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
User avatar
Zer0 Kay
Megaversal® Ambassador
Posts: 13782
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:59 pm
Location: Snoqualmie, WA

Re: randomer item table

Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

List 13
1 - A rubber ducky. Except this one drives a black Mack Truck
2 - A fluffer. If you're over 18, you should already know what this is!! If under 18, it's a person who makes silly 'fart' noises. ;)
3 - A black fluffer duck. It is wearing a rubber ID tag that reads “Mack.” When approached, rather than a normal duck noise, it makes a phhhfffrrrrrrrrrrtttttt!! (silly fart)noise. A save VS psionic attack roll must be made (12 or higher) or else the character will suffer the signs and symptoms of prolonged yet unfulfilled arousal.

4 - You see ernie! You know the character from sesame street
5 - Air Gun---Obviously the work of a backwoods mechanic, this fowling piece uses compressed gas to fire slugs or birdshot. Range is fairly low compared to standard cartridge firearms(about 300-400 ft under ideal conditions), and the compressed gas cylinder has enough pressure for 6 shots. Damage is roughly equal to a .22 rifle.
6 - A box of SodaStream gas cylinders. They're different colours for some reason. When fitted to your SodaStream (if you have one, you don't find one here), it will carbonate your drinks for you!! But, they can be used as rifle grenades....somehow, regardless of the rifle (rail gun, laser, ballistic, plasma, etc) they fit the barrel (even if the rifle isn't fitted for rifle grenades).

1. Grey = tear/gas
2. Yellow = flash/bang
3. White = Phosphorus
4. Red = Frag
5. Purple = Plasma
6. Silver = Carpet of Adhesion
7. Neon Green/Yellow = Nuclear!!
8. Dud. = Select or roll again until you get another result.
9. Mine. = Select or roll again until you get another result
10. Multiple warhead = Select or roll again until you get another result.

Range is double the rifles range.

They do damage as per the normal grenade type. Carpet of Adhesion grenades work at 5th level LLW if stats are needed. Nuclear does (6xd6)x100 MDC in a 300 yard radius. Then it does (3xd6)x50 MDC in the next 300 yard radius. Finally it does 1d6x10 MDC in the last 300 yard radius. Yes, this means they'll probably take damage and radiate themselves!!

You find 3 to 60 'gas cylinders' (3xd20). They're randomly assorted. You can pull them all out of the box to find what they are, or just roll when someone grabs one.

Special note!! There is no way of knowing that these can be used as weapons when first found. If they go to sell them, have the person who they're trying to sell them say something like 'they haven't seen these grenades in a while”. Or if someone rolls less than 5% for “weapon quality”. They don't radiate magic (not even the CoA grenade), and can't be thrown.

After they find out more about them, they'll hear about other 'colour' grenades.......
7 - You find an Air Gun---Obviously the work of a backwoods mechanic, this fowling piece uses compressed gas to fire slugs or birdshot. Range is fairly low compared to standard cartridge firearms(about 300-400 ft under ideal conditions), and the compressed gas cylinder has enough pressure for 6 shots. Damage is roughly equal to a .22 rifle.

However, along with the airgun, you also find a box of SodaStream gas cylinders. They're different colours for some reason. When fitted to your SodaStream (if you have one, you don't find one here), it will carbonate your drinks for you!! But, they can be used as rifle grenades....somehow, regardless of the rifle (rail gun, laser, ballistic, plasma, etc) they fit the barrel (even if the rifle isn't fitted for rifle grenades).

1. Grey = tear/gas
2. Yellow = flash/bang
3. White = Phosphorus
4. Red = Frag
5. Purple = Plasma
6. Silver = Carpet of Adhesion
7. Neon Green/Yellow = Nuclear!!
8. Dud. = Select or roll again until you get another result.
9. Mine. = Select or roll again until you get another result
10. Multiple warhead = Select or roll again until you get another result.

Range is double the rifles range.

They do damage as per the normal grenade type. Carpet of Adhesion grenades work at 5th level LLW if stats are needed. Nuclear does (6xd6)x100 MDC in a 300 yard radius. Then it does (3xd6)x50 MDC in the next 300 yard radius. Finally it does 1d6x10 MDC in the last 300 yard radius. Yes, this means they'll probably take damage and radiate themselves!!

You find 3 to 60 'gas cylinders' (3xd20). They're randomly assorted. You can pull them all out of the box to find what they are, or just roll when someone grabs one.

Special note!! There is no way of knowing that these can be used as weapons when first found. If they go to sell them, have the person who they're trying to sell them say something like 'they haven't seen these grenades in a while. Or if someone rolls less than 5% for “weapon quality”. They don't radiate magic (not even the CoA grenade), and can't be thrown.

After they find out more about them, they'll hear about other 'colour' grenades.......
8 - A can of Dinki-Di dog food. Can is open and is still half full. Near the can is a wooden spoon, with traces of dog food on it.
9 - A pair of mirrored shades. If a CS or NG weapon with integrated scope is powered up near the glasses the glasses display “Bluetooth Connecting”. If more than one weapon is within 100 feet the glasses ask for the weapons connection code (which is displayed in the weapons scope). The glasses after connection will show a cross hair if the scope is pointed within the view of the glasses or an arrow if the scope is pointed out of the field of vision. If the word “scope” is said the scope's view will be superimposed over reality. The system allows for 50x digital zoom without pixilization. The image is clear enough to accurately aim but transparent enough to be seen through if needed. If the trigger is partially pulled the software will detect edges and assume whatever the crosshairs are on is the target and with the combined systems of the Rifle, scope and glasses wind, gravity and range are compensated for. Other voice commands:
Range: displays range to surface the rifle is pointed at.
Ammo: displays ammo status (current/max)
Clear (function): Clears named function or “all” clears all.
All of this... well just the scope stuff, adds a +5 to strike with the connected weapon.

What this does say is “so that is what that component we weren't sure about does.” It also says, “uh wait, why does some of NG's' stuff work with this?!”
10 - A beanbag 'chair' in the shape of Zero Kay.
11 - A random item list... Hmm, how can that be, it is blank?
12 - You find tree that has grown around a bulletin board. Attached to the board is a (nearly) blank random item list, next to it is a dimmer switch. If you turn the knob, the list has more items appear... WOW!!!
13 - While standing there, a hatchet hits tree beside the board. No attacker can be seen. But when you look back, a new item is on the list.
14 - You find a old, faded Polaroid photo. In the photo you see two people who seem to be playing Twister. But they seem to be nude. But it's hard to tell as the photo is very faded, they just could be wearing nude body stockings. Written on the back are the words “Oh what memories!” and is signed by Zer0 Kay and Abtex.
15 - There is a cork sign hanging sideways on a wall with the letters "C Y C O". When looking closer, you see that it's really a dart board where the rings have come loose. The darts are still that. But the letters are being held in place by several knives, hatchets ... but the bullet holes and laser burns may strange shape. :eek: :D
16 - A psychotic electronic toy otter. When you wave at it, it chirps and waves and bounces on its bottom. If for some reason you wave a paper in front of it it starts chirping and bouncing toward it while reaching for the paper. If you wave a blank piece of paper in front of it, it starts chirping loudly, gets red eyes, pulls out a gun from no where (some assume it is hammer space but it is actually butt space and starts shooting... fortunately they're caps. Don't worry, it is mostly cute, often annoying and sometime presents the illusion of being dangerous. ;)
17 - Robot Arm---The characters come across the arm of a Northern Gun robot vehicle. Problem is, the arm is floating in the air as if it were still attached to the robot it came off of. It will also MOVE as if still attached to an invisible, but insubstantial, robot vehicle. If the characters ignore the arm, it will float/walk off into the distance, but if they attempt to salvage/attack it, it will fight as if manned by a 10th level robot pilot, appropriate to the specific type of robot. The arm has full MDC for its type, and any integrated weapons, with unlimited shots for energy weapons, though combat will be limited to ONLY what the arm is packing(or, by the robot specification, what it can pick up and use) and not what the rest of the robot would be carrying(it's just an arm).
18 - Robot Leg---A disembodied robot leg, moving as if still attached to a robot vehicle, Trailing it will mean a journey of MONTHS into the wilderness with no specific destination(or, it could just lead to the remains of a mercenary camp, or back to Northern Gun). Attempting to attack/salvage it will result in the lag fighting back with any installed weaponry, or by kick/stomp attack, as if it were attached to a robot piloted by a 10th level pilot. The only way to really stop this thing will result in its total destruction.
19 - Hearing Gunshots and the sounds of a Battle, the party stumbles upon 7 Ulti Max robots Blasting and Back Pedaling at a Gianormus Spiny Ravager. The beast is over 125 feet tall 300 feet long!
(Take a Spiny Ravager and add the leyline mutation Gargantuan to see bonuses)
Everyone should Roll vs a Horror Factor of 21.
20 - 7 Ultimax robots doing the cha cha.
21 - A wrecked NG 'Salamander' truck with a line of a dozen NG labor robots standing outside in an impromptu assembly line using supplies from inside the truck. Anybody approaching to see what they're diligently assembling will get to see the line start up and a 'product' make its way down the line towards them. The last robot in line then takes the finished cream pie and smashes the observer in the face with it.
22 - A Coalition Skelebot wanders by, wearing a sombrero and shaking a pair of maracas. If left alone it will ignore the characters and keep dancing down the path. If attacked, it will fight to destruction.
23 - A pocket calculator. If turned on, a little electronic voice comes on and claims to be 'ARCHIE-3.2' ad promises that if the characters restore it to its proper place of power, it will make them more powerful than their greatest dreams. If pressed on how and where this restoration of power is to take place, the calculator hems and haws before shamefacedly admitting it apparently doesn't have enough memory to remember where it's supposed to go. It can still do basic mathematical problems REALLY well, however(Basic and Advanced Math at 99%).
24 - Automated Self-closing Toilet Seat, No hands or reminders needed.
25 - You come across a confused 'Nitpicker' bird, that is wondering if it's in posting #9 or #16. But flys off as a cream pie hits the Sign post it was sitting on. :-? :D
26 - A drunken turn off the century pirate, slurring and hard to understand -85% language skill.
Well translate enough to learn he is lost.

The pirate stumbles off after a melee.

If attacked he fights with his sword as a 15th level Juicer with double the number of attacks. Any attack roll over 10 causes a knock out.
Any damage the players receive is reduced zero, unless the role is a knockout.

They players awaken wrapped in a ships mooring line, not tied just wrapped hap hazardly around them like the are tied up.

The male pc with the highest Pb is naked with a tattoo on his butt saying “Sea Turtle, Mate”
27 - A butt pirate.

Run!!!!!!!

8p
28 - A rat strangling a pigeon. Normal rat, normal pigeon, just weird thing to see. Hmm
29 - A 12-ft long tube sock.
30 - A 21' long tube steak... ... ... a giant hot dog, come on people. What were you thinking?
31 - Four Brodkil holding several farmers hostage.
Two of the men work the field, the seven woman care for the large Goat herd and several children perhaps a dozen are playing with toys near the giant demons."
32 - Five Brodkil being forced to work a field, while several men and women sit on the side of the field, wearing swimsuits and drinking cocktails, with heavy weaponry close at hand. The fact that the squishies are wearing swimsuits should tell you something....
33 - a man wearing a white suit with a song southern accent calling himself the colonel.
34 - Five cases, each containing 24 19-ounce cans of red cabbage soup, marked in Cyrillic. Russian Army standard issue rations, dated '2015'.
35 - A small high tech city, roughly knee high, the characters appear Kaiju size!
36 - A postage stamp, un-canceled, roughly a meter on a side. The image depicts a tentacled creature in a santa suit, and has English lettering and numerals denoting it as 'U.S. Postage. Forever Stamp’
37 - A lemonade stand http://palladiumbooks.com/forums/viewto ... view=print
38 - Deep-fried Squirrel Stand. Two credits a stick. Extra for condiments.
39 - Ambush---Characters find themselves surrounded by their party's number x6 in silent, uniformed squirrels. They have body armor(4 MDC each), the equivalent of .22 caliber SMGs, cyborg finger grenades, and plasma/laser derringers. Any member of the party eating a deep-fried squirrel on a stick will be approached and forced to relinquish the squirrel-fritter(s), which will be borne away with solemn ceremony. The offending character MAY(30% chance) get their kneecap(s) shot off or their face pistol-whipped before the squirrels disappear back into the brush.
40 - Remains of Muskrat-inna-Bun stand, still burning. The body of the stand's operator lays nearby, covered in fried dough. There is no muskrat in the remains of the stand.
41 - Box of Chocolate Wafers---Anybody eating one must save versus magic or bloat to 8x their current weight, and reduce APMs, SPD, and bonuses to 1. Effects last 1 hour; or 4d6 minutes if an antacid is eaten. Eating another wafer will cause them to explode.
42 - Pile of Leaves---About 6 ft high. Anybody jumping in it takes 1d6x10 damage from the bear trap hidden inside.
43 - Book: 2001 Sexual Propositions, Pick-up Lines, Approaches, and Positions, by Zeus, Thundergod. Most of the listed contents are only possible if you're a god, possess shape-changing abilities, or have superhuman stamina.
44 - Book: Keeping Them on a Leash: A Guide to Keeping Your Mate Under Lock, Key, and Chain, by Hera. Most of the measures in the book either require insanely hard to obtain high-strength metals, or would be painfully lethal to the normal person.
45 - Book: Divine Child Support: How to Extract It When It's Due, by the Association of Mothers of Demigods. Anybody using the suggested contact methods in the book better have the positive DNA test results ready at hand, otherwise a god bothered for a frivolous reason is an ANNOYED god.
46 - A bag of left-over Halloween candy, surrounded by 2d6 dead faerie folk(of the smaller varieties). (GM's option: the faeries aren't actually dead, just comatose from over-indulgence. They'll be out of it for the next 2d4 hours, and will have a 50% chance of being SPECTACULALY sick upon waking up...i.e. projectile vomiting on everybody in sight)
47 - The remains of a smashed pumpkin...with a brain inside. Closer examination will show the brain is a cauliflower.
48 - You take 1d4 damage to your foot MD or SD. You found a Lego.
49 - There is something on your face... it's PAIN. Take 1d4 to the face.
50 - A tear in the 4th dimensional wall.
Everybody at the game table, leave your dice and character sheet, then move one seat to your left. Including GM....
The rip corrects itself next gaming session.
51 - A paddle, cuz you deserve it.
52 - 2d6 human teeth. Looks like somebody had some violent dental work done(10% chance of a gold cap worth 4d6 credits amongst the teeth).
53 - A burned out copy of Fallout 12. For the Atari Zero Home Flaggelation system.
54 - A suit of Northern Gun Samson NG-x9 Power Armor, heavily customized apparently as a *koff* marital aide for *ahem* "consorting* with Jotan or Titans. Seeing some of the 'accessories" built on it can have an effect similar to Horror Factor 13; 01-50% chance of eliciting titters, 51-00% of stunning with the mental images of how it's supposed to go into 'action'. Perfectly usable as power armor, though it lacks any military weapons, and you'd probably want to thoroughly clean it off inside and out. Could probably bring 25% over the normal cost of a used NG-X9 if you found certain niche buyers...but asking around would get you some odd looks at the very least.
55 - You find a tube that is four feet in diameter and 12' long. It must be some sort of decayed plumbing tube. It is no longer ridged the plastic somehow degrading into an extremely elastic material that makes the inner surface of the tube of Malia le diameter. Inspection of the interior reveals ribbing and bumps. What chemical was flushed down this tube to do this? Imagine the chaos that would ensue if any human settlement had this happen to its PVC sewage pipes...
56 - You find packaging. An 12 foot long box with alien writing on it. Whatever was in it has been removed. There are pictures of several species of attractive giantesses holding something that is either a giant flashlight that is out of proportion even for them or a giant sized... Giant sized drink cup. After some translation it is discovered that it is indeed a Fle... No that doesn't make sense, translation error, it is a flash light... Now why the naked giantesses?
57 - A Rubber Ball Gag...with four incisors stuck in it.
58 - The rear pelvic plates of a suit of heavy EBA, with the imprint of a boot toe embossed in them. MDC material-wise the find could be sold to a recycler for 2d4x10 credits.
59 - A pelvic plate under your knee and a breastplate in your hand. Your surprised a part of it is malleable the Shemarian is surprised your squeezing it. As you realize what is going on, you uncontrollably start trying to explain that it was an accident. You are summarily smacked. Leaving a well defined handprint but no other damage than PAIN, which is what was on your face. From now on every Shemarrian will refer to you as Hentai, but will remain unhostile as long as you do not provoke them.
60 - A magic lab with a cardboard box, a card board box on wheels, a sealed cardboard box and a sealed cardboard box on wheels. There are also working monitors that show the position of identical labs in space. One is in geosynchronous orbit, another is in a standard orbit, another is at a LaGrange point and another on the moon.
61 - A magic lab. He answers to Rufus, has 50MDC and can communicate telepathically to his new owner. Which is you. All you ever hear (in your head, which no one else can hear), is “HELLO! YOU IS MY NEW MASTER! I WOVE MY NEW MASTER! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO MY NEW MASTER! I WONDER WHAT MY NEW MASTERS BOTTOM SMELLS LIKE *sniffs new masters bottom* YOU DON'T SMELL LIKE A DOG. BUT I LIKE ME NEW MASTER! DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME OF FETCH WITH ME MY NEW MASTER? OH, PLEASE LET US PLAY FETCH! YOU CAN THROW A STICK, A BALL OR A BONE AND I WILL GO FIND IT, AND PICK IT UP AND BRING IT BACK TO MY NEW MASTER! OH BOY, THIS WILL BE FUN! MASTER, LETS PLAY FETCH AND IT WILL BE FUN. FUNNER THEN EVEN EATING KITTENS, BECAUSE I LOVE MY NEW MASTER”...........etc, etc........

Other than being a MDC critter, he has typical stats for a mid sized dog. His only magic abilities (other than the MDC), is the ability to track his new master through space & time with a 100% chance of success. The ability to teleport/dimensional travel/time travel to his masters precise location, again with a 100% success rate. He can even 'travel' to locations that are in a magical null zone, or are blocked by some other means. No matter when/where his master is, he will be able to find and go to his beloved master. He can't bring anyone else along, or any thing else, other than himself. None of this is apparent because Rufus only uses this ability when his Master is no longer there when he brings the thrown object back. His chance of bringing the precise object thrown back is only 20%. 70% of the time, he doesn't find anything. The remaining 10%, roll on a Randomer Item Table. His last magical ability is the ability to penetrate any device/magical/psychic/other shield used to block telepathic transmissions.

If you want to get rid of Rufus, you simply tell him that he's a bad dog and point away from yourself. But if you do that, EVERYONE will know, and you'll have a minimum -50% chance on any social interaction. More if they're a canine (Dog Boy, or even a dog headed demon), or a dog lover. This includes buying a beer at the local taven, that new jet bike you've been dreaming about, picking up a date, bargaining that new merc contract, etc. If in a group, you can lessen this to a degree, but only to a base of -25%, as you're known to be in the company of 'that person' who banished Rufus.

This social penalty lasts for 1d3+1 months, or until you make a sizable donation (GM to determine based on their campaign, should be a few million credits at least) to the ASPCA. If you mistakenly donate to PETA, the penalty lasts a full year.
62 - A small nautical telescope. Looking through the eyepiece will get you squirted in the eye with a jet of sea water.
63 - A Seaman's telescope... Um... Yeah not putting that one up to my eye. Nope... NOT gonna happen at this juncture, not gonna.
64 - A small hairbrush. Anybody using it makes a save versus magic, or start losing hair in big clumps. Yep, it's cursed with Baldness.
65 - You find a coinpurse. Inside is one PFRPG Dragon coin complete with gems. If the coin is removed the person taking the coin grows a coinpurse or a second coinpurse depending on gender... Yup the item is cursed with male pattern ballness.
66 - Nose/Ear Hair Clipper----Unfortunately, it is a CURSED nose/ear hair clipper. Any attempt to use it has a 50% chance of it clamping onto the person's nose (or ear) and refusing to disengage. Simply trying to tear it off will do 2d6 damage(SDC or MDC depending on the creature being nose/ear-clamped) and the clipper will magically reappear back on the person's nose(or ear). A magic forcefield or Armor of Ithan spell will prevent it from re-attaching. A successful Field Surgery roll can remove it with only 1d4 damage, but the problem of the nose/ear clippers magically re-attaching remains. Only a magic forcefield, successful Remove Curse or Dispel magic can permanently remove the clippers. What the hell was the circumstances leading to the creation of this particular cursed item is unknown.
67 - A squidgun. By this I mean a land squid with a gun. By land squid I mean like squid you find in the oceans, but on land. And my oceans, I mean the deepest of deep ocean trenches. So, I mean a Kraken. A Kraken that has been chased out of his deep watery home by the Lord of the Deep, and is very, very annoyed by this fact. And by annoyed, I mean, he's meaner than the Incredible Hulk has ever been. In fact, it would make the Hulk's greatest rage storm look like a childs temper tantrum. Oh, and by guns, I mean 4 revolvers the size of a small submarine. And by revolvers, I actually mean chainguns made from 6 Boomguns each, so that each 'gun' revolves around a center point, much like a chaingun. And each obviously dealing damage as per a Boomgun.

Mr Kraken is wearing the latest in water-to-land wear, capable of withstanding the wrath of a lesser Old One, with all the capabilities to keep his skin nice and wet for several months worth of land based carnage. Needless to say, this suit is very fashionable, and gives him +100% with any bargaining attempt (well, either it's that, or it's the simple fact that it's Mr Kraken wanting to take all your Boomgun ammunition. He's obviously very persuasive....).
68 - A group of 2d6 turkeys. No, not a flock, a GROUP. You can tell they're turkeys by the fact they're wearing 'Prosek RULEZ!' t-shirts in the middle of the Magic Zone while drinking bogus psi-cola and playing with plastic light-sabers. Approaching them will get you warned off with something like 'Hey, dust off, @$$huls, we're REALLY powerful mages and this is our street!' or some other preposterous un-backable threat of bodily harm. Robbing them ain't even worth the effort, netting you only 2d6 credits worth of barterable items. How the hell did these punks expect to survive out here in the real world?
69 - A flock of 3d6 turkeys. At least they're turkeys until you try to catch any for dinner, in which case they are revealed to be a group of pack-hunting giantT Rex-like creatures disguised by illusion magic. Now who's on the menu?
70 - Wild Turkey, you find a barrel full of it, at less that's what its labeled. It seems more like alcohol than some liquid form of poultry. Hmm, wrong label maybe.
71 - An 80-ft diameter cranberry. Yes, a SINGLE cranberry. If you can somehow process it, you're looking at at least 2d6x100 credits' worth of cranberry sauce if you make sure not to flood the local market. If you CAN'T process it, you're looking at one stinking heap of compost over the next six months.
72 - A clip-fed blunderbuss, with a flintlock action, but a 6-shot autofeed clip and self-cocking action. It has 1d6 shots left, has an effective range of 100 ft, does 4d6 SDC, and has 'Plymouth Armory' stamped on its stock.
73 - A revolver longbow. A long bow with standard range and damage but doesn't require so much time to pull an arrow and nock it. For six shots the fire rate for the bow is doubled.
74 - A revolver. Capable of burst fire. Does 2d6x10 damage when burst fired. Only capable of burst fire. Also has a safety switch, with additional damage settings. Capable of HP/SDC/MDC/ and Sparkle* damage.

*Ever seen the nerd rage from someone when they first found out that the vampires in the Twilight series didn't get burnt to a crisp in the sun, but instead 'sparkled'? Yeah, it's hideous to see. That's Sparkle damage. Game effect depends on the GM. But as a suggestion, any nerd based characters will have their heads exploded automatically, and everyone else will loose 2d12 hours of their life arguing the point without ever realizing it. These individuals won't even notice that their friends heads have exploded, but will still carrying on arguing why does it really matter anyway for the allotted time dictated by the dice. This will even happen in the middle of combat.
75 - A Repeating Slingshot. Does only 1d4 SDC damage per shot, but yanking back on the elastic, letting fly, and holding it aimed at the same target afterwards will cause a magical 'ripple' that will fire an additional 1d8 telekinetic bullets to slam into the target(counts as one attack).
76 - Tomahawk cruise missile. This Tomahawk, when thrown will cruise to the target and by cruise I mean fly slowly. It is easily dodgeable but instantly changes course so as to not get stuck in anything. It will continue to home in on its target until it hits. Days, months, years... Centuries, doesn't matter. Will knock at doors untill they are opened or it detects the target has left the building. The damage sustained by a strike is so negligible that it can't even pass through a glass window, where it must also stop to knock. The tomahawk always flies upright and doesn't spin blade in the direction of travel. Continuously make a screeching like a tie fighter only MUCH worse because it is flying soooooo slow. Oh, yeah the rocket part of a missile. Out the narrow end of the metal head opposite the cutting edge (which does normal cutting damage... When used by hand) spews forth puffs of smoke and sparks like a cheesy black and white sci-fi movie where you can see the string the rocket is traveling along. The puffs of smoke stay exactly where they were made, walking into them doesn't even disturb them appearing after you pass as if it wasn't even touched. The puffs of smoke stay until the tomahawk's edge contacts its target.
77 - Nerfed BoomGun---Looks like a relly powerful, souped-up BoomGun. It looks the same, weighs the same, operates the same...except that when fired, the ammo is transformed into harmless sponge-rubber projectiles. No matter how one tries to tinker with the innards, or change the ammunition, the result is the same; absolutely harmless BFG.
78 - A monkey. Answers to Zer0 Kay.
79 - Cyco, who is Zer0 Kay's father's brother... so, a monkey's uncle.
80 - You come across a Strange Polearm. It has a block shaped object, in place of the blade. This 'Blade' is soft, colored and has deodorant smell, that seems to be strong enough to cover a Hellpit's odor. Well a small one at least.

Attached to 'Blade' are tassels that have an arrow pointing forward and the burn words “taali...”, “armpit” and “...lismn”. The meaning is unclear. But to add the mystery, there are other ones that have arrows pointing to grip with “CyCo” on them.

:D
81 - A pair of socks with three mints printed on each one.
82 - Cardboard box marked "To North Wing"
83 - A Tickle-Me-Elmo
84 - A spoon - Strong against soup, weak against ham (from South Park Stick of Truth)
85 - You encounter a Large Billboard that read:
“Welcome to the Forums, Banana Prince!!
Stop and post for a while!!”
86 - A sign on a fence that reads:
“Warning:
Abtex present
Do not encourage the Mutant Duckbilled Platypus
...
...
...
He likes to lick people”
87 - A large individual, wearing a large one piece bodysuit which encompass the head but not the face. Possibly has some sort of goggles built into the head piece, but they _could_ be eyes....Also has some sort of antenna on his head. He's muttering something about being nigh invulnerable and wondering where Arthur is, then yells “SPOOOOOOON!!” at the top of his very loud voice, then runs off into the middle distance.

(no stats. Completely up to the GM's discretion. Otherwise might be regarded as a conversion of anothers IP and we don't want that now, do we kidlets?) 8p
88 - A spirit stone. When dropped in any flavored non alcoholic beverage, it will make said non alcoholic beverage alcoholic of the same flavour. Example, dropped in a 'cola', it could possibly taste like a bourbon & cola, if that's what the owner wishes. Or if dropped in a non alcoholic pina colada, it would become the alcoholic version. If dropped in a container of pure water by a priest or some other holyman, it instead makes holy water.

Can effect up to 4 gallons per day. As you can imagine, they're very popular down in or near the Vampire Kingdoms, both for on duty, and off duty. ;)
89 - A pack of Tiger Raptor, running at the party.
90 - Tooth brush and a pack of clean Spiderman Briefs.
91 - A full set of spiderman underoos, guess the poor kid had a blow out... and I don't mean tires
92 - Pre-Rifts Set of Packaged Underwear--- Looks perfectly wearable out of the package. Only this is exploding underwear, apparently meant for unconventional warfare(i.e. terrorism) but never used when NEMA introduced more comprehensive security measures and scanners. Originally detonated by electronic means, but by this point the explosives have deteriorated so much that static electricity, temperatures in excess of 104 degrees F, or a sudden shock(like sitting down hard, or a hard slap to the buttocks) will set them off. Fortunately the explosives have also deteriorated in force so much that they only do about 3d6 SDC to a 5 ft radius.
93 - Side Order 93
Some guy in white EBA shoots at you yelling “Not just the Geedais, it's you too!” Inexplicably with all the shots fired you are unscathed and the guy in the white EBA is taken down by some teddybears, who drag him away. However, the environment your in is completely hole riddled and begins falling apart. Take necessary actions or face the consequences.
94 - -93- That's the number of pieces of some other mook you find by the wayside, just before a crazed Thornhead Demon lunges out from behind cover, screaming "94!!!!!" Bets as to what it's referring to?
95 - A pair of shorts

One depicts a cartoonized version of an Anthropomorphic Prosek giving a non-human supremacist speach
The other depicts a cartoonized version of a angry Erin Tarn in Nazi style uniform giving a human supremacist speach

Each short is in a small can marked Man in a Small tower.
96 - Can of Whupass---Whoever opens the can, gets their ass whupped(down to 1 MDC or 1 SDC and 1 Hit Point).
97 - A shower in a can. When opened, it releases a rain storm. If released near a lay line, it's a lay line storm. If released near a nexus, it's like one of the Bermuda Triangle storms! Duration is d66 hours.
98 - An innocuous-looking canister with an inviting logo. Pulling the pull-tap to open, however, triggers a one-shot high-powered EMP device that transmits a sophisticated radio-born computer virus to every open receiver in a 1 mile radius. Anything electronic with an EM receiver(radios, televisions, Wi-Fi connections) will be saturated with a succession of canned commercial advertisements for everything from medical back-braces and sexual potency enhancers to free cruises and the repeatable secrets of Wall Street billionaires. These messages will continue to saturate the radio outputs, HUDs, and monitors of infected systems as long as they have power, but turning them off and then on again simply boots up the spam virus again, in the case of computers and computerized/chipped systems. Cyborgs with affected systems and neural AI robots will be at HALF strike/dodge/parry bonuses due to the GARBAGE crowding their displays.
Getting rid of the spam will require wiping and reinstalling from clean backups for computers, or a Computer Programming roll at -15% to counter the virus. Regular radios and TVs can be cleaned by just turning them off and then on again.
The EM generator self-destructs when triggered, and leaves little or no usable evidence as to who created the device.
99 - Recycling Can

Any non-organic material you are touching when you touch the can is separated into the smallest unit of its natural, elemental, state. The material can be found in separate digitally labeled, RDIS (meaning it is a tray that is not Time And, just a Relative Dimension In Space) trays within the can... there is no reverse and your likely only to get 1000th of what the item(s) was/were worth.

It has many other uses
Running short of a particular material and you happen to be sitting in a junk yard?
Maybe your patient has a bullet or other foreign non-organic material dangerously lodged in their body?
Need a large black armored arcology removed from North America?
***Caution: when loading into a non-organic launcher please remember that you can not touch the launcher as long as your holding the can, the can... can but you can't... also remember fillings, crowns, pacemakers and well many cyborg parts are not organic, oh and most dentures too... hopefully you don't have any screws in your bones, but I'm rambling now*** :roll:
AND these are just a few possibilities

Sorry the can cannot make Julian fries
100 - Re-Cycle
Your favorite childhood bicycle(or tricycle, or big-wheels) has apparently appeared by the side of the road, seemingly restored to all its original glory. The 'cycle is actually a Haunting Entity which has become fixated and locked (in solid ectoplasmic form) on the memory of your old ride that it has somehow plucked from your memory. It will perform just like your old cycle, plus has the powers of the entity, and will continue to follow you, or appear next to you and your possessions, until either destroyed or otherwise dispelled by anti-entity means. The entity means no malice; it's just locked in that form which seems to have good associations for you.

AND generator updated.
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
Post Reply

Return to “Rifts®”