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weijian wrote:You are well on your way to 1000 posts, Toc.

Don't forget....medics.

Never fear! I think we can safely bet on Medics playing a part in the up coming chapter

LuckyJim wrote:Bloody fantastic Toc!!! It was well worth the wait and definately up to par with the previous chapters!

Ahhh, another happy reader to start my day

It always gives me that warm fuzzy feeling inside

I'm curious, has anyone used any of these characters in their campaigns? Cameos as it were? If so I would love to hear about it!

I know I've asked this one before but do you all think I should submit the story so far to the Rifter?

AdeptPaladin wrote:

Toc Rat wrote:I'm curious, has anyone used any of these characters in their campaigns? Cameos as it were? If so I would love to hear about it!

I know I've asked this one before but do you all think I should submit the story so far to the Rifter?

I'd be hesitant to do so; you lose ownership of the works if you do.

I'm not sure if I have "ownership" as it is. After all it is fiction created in the world KS created. Rifts is his, I'm just writing in it for the fans enjoyment.

I am very glad that you all have liked my humble writings so much.
I hope to keep everyone laughing for some time to come

This would make a great short comic, Like knights of the dinner table used to be.

AdeptPaladin wrote:http://www.palladiumbooks.com/policies.html
It falls under derivative works, meaning you own it provided you don't make money off of it.

^_^

Thanks for the info, I certainly haven't been doing this for money!

matt_thomp wrote:

Blight wrote:This would make a great short comic, Like knights of the dinner table used to be.

ABSOLUTELY! And I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to find anyone here on the boards, regular Palladium/Rifter artists, or anyone else to illustrate this out.

Too bad I can't draw to save my life, otherwise I'd jump at the chance

Yah, I wish I could draw too It would be great to see it drawn, make the caste of characters more "real".

Toc Rat wrote:I'm curious, has anyone used any of these characters in their campaigns? Cameos as it were? If so I would love to hear about it!

I know I've asked this one before but do you all think I should submit the story so far to the Rifter?

You might also check-out the Rifter Submission Guidelines.

Toc Rat wrote:I wish I could just mass PM everyone that follows this thread, I just spent 30 minutes typing them all out to let everyone know the tenth chapter was up!

With any luck I hope to have the next one up before New Years.

Be sure to bump the topic over here: Multiple PMing with a new request.

Happy New Years all! I hope everyone is having fun.

I have started typing out the 11th chapter and hope to have it done soon. Maybe not by midnight (Hawaii time) but soon.

Hello everyone! I am safely back in Las Vegas. I hope everyone had fu during new years!

Glad to hear it , now wheres the next chapter?

Zazma Chirou wrote:I think Elfinster needs to use a souldrinker rune weapon on someone. That is something that technology definitely CANNOT duplicate. That would stick in ol' Patterson's craw real good!!

Umm, whats the difference between sticking someone with a magic sword and vaporizing their body with a C-18?

Zazma Chirou wrote:

Nxla666 wrote:

Zazma Chirou wrote:I think Elfinster needs to use a souldrinker rune weapon on someone. That is something that technology definitely CANNOT duplicate. That would stick in ol' Patterson's craw real good!!

Umm, whats the difference between sticking someone with a magic sword and vaporizing their body with a C-18?

That C-18 is still sending their soul into some kind of after life, the souldrinker doesn't. To me that is a more complete form of destruction than the mere vaporization of someone's body.

Technology can duplicate something similar, chemically induced coma, or a trip to the DMV.

Hello everyone, sorry for the delay but I have just recieved some rather un-happy news. I have put myself mostly back together and should be able to finish writing the next chapter soon.

Toc Rat wrote:Hello everyone, sorry for the delay but I have just recieved some rather un-happy news. I have put myself mostly back together and should be able to finish writing the next chapter soon.

Sorry to hear about your un-happy news, hope things work out for you in the end.

AdeptPaladin wrote:

Toc Rat wrote:Hello everyone, sorry for the delay but I have just recieved some rather un-happy news. I have put myself mostly back together and should be able to finish writing the next chapter soon.

No go on joining da force?

I like to think of it as a short delay. Very perceptive of you though

Yes, due entirely to my own stupidity, I am out of the current round of LVMPD testing and can not re-test until June.

However things aren't entirely bad. I am still listed as being active for the current round of testing for NV Highway Patrol. I have already contacted them and just need to recieve my test times. I will also take this unexpected er opportunity to apply to the Henderson police too. One way or another I WILL be serving as a police officer by the end of my mobilization. The only question is which agency...

I just finished reading all of this satire and, I have to say it is one of the funniest satirical writings, on the subject, I've seen. Absolutely hilarious . I'm proud to make my compliments on your writings my first post. I can't wait for the next installment!
-TzI

Thanks! Glad you enjoy it

How did you find it? Just stumble accross it or were you directed to it?

I was just cruising through the forum reading random threads and came across this one. Lucky I did too, I was in dire need of a good gutbusting laugh.

sorry to hear about your news but the 10th chapter is great. been gone awhile away from computers.

Larsen wrote:sorry to hear about your news but the 10th chapter is great. been gone awhile away from computers.

Glad to have you back!

I have gotten over (mostly) my little depression and will be posting the 11th chapter today or tomorrow.

Toc Rat wrote:

Larsen wrote:sorry to hear about your news but the 10th chapter is great. been gone awhile away from computers.

Glad to have you back!

I have gotten over (mostly) my little depression and will be posting the 11th chapter today or tomorrow.

Good to hear it, nothing breaks a foul mood better than typing out a lil' story for your pals at the boards, though.

Hey gang! Sorry it's been so long, a lot has happened recently. Let's see...I was almost blown up by MLRS...made NCOIC of my squadron's communications section (And yes the MLRS had something to do with that)...oh and did I mention we are no longer going to Afghanistan? Now we are going to Iraq. That should happen around May or June...well unless they change the plan again.

Assumming I don't find myself in the sights of a AC-130 gunship or SEAL sniper (what the Army calls "Training Accidents"), I'll have this weekend off and hope to post the next chapter then.

ok, lets begin.
1. glad you didn't go boom!
2. congrats on the lateral promo no rank just more responsibility. right, well it will look great on you N.O.E.R.s (Are the still called that? Or does that just make me sound old.)
3. Oh please tell if you can I love a good SNAFU story
4. Give me a heads up before you go i might be heading back there by then. I'll buy you a Beer. (We civies can do that over there you know)
Well enjoy your weekend hope to hear from ya.

Blight wrote:ok, lets begin.
1. glad you didn't go boom!
2. congrats on the lateral promo:ok: no rank just more responsibility. right, well it will look great on you N.O.E.R.s (Are the still called that? Or does that just make me sound old.)
3. Oh please tell if you can I love a good SNAFU story
4. Give me a heads up before you go i might be heading back there by then. I'll buy you a Beer. (We civies can do that over there you know)
Well enjoy your weekend hope to hear from ya.

All in bold is agreed in full.
Keep your head down and your powder dry in Iraq, we've already lost at least one member there, dont want to lose anymore.

Well, I am waiting for the next chapter.

So do not die, because I have a couple of necromancer
buddies, therefore you WILL write.

Adios
KLM

Rift Jumper wrote:MLRS malfunction, or just badly aimed. Love to hear the story.

OK, now that I am back from the field and a few minutes to type this out...and you all seem to want the details...Here is what happened in brief.

THE FOLLOWING IS A TRUE STORY, ONLY THE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT AND THE STUPID

We, the communications (commo) section of my unit were tasked to setup a communications retransmission or "retrans" site. The plan said have the site up and running by no later then 1700 hours on a thursday. Our section Sgt. got the order from our signal officer, who I will call Cpt. Sleepy, wedsnday. Our section Sgt, who I shall call SFC Pong, gave the mission to two of my fellow commo soldiers. They head out and have the site up an running on schedule.

Now for a bit of background, my unit is the Opposing Forces or "OPFOR". We play the bad guys in all the war games out here in the Mojave desert. Now we use to dress in Russian type uniforms and play with M1A tanks made to look like a Russian T-80. That was back in the good ole days though, when two armies would meet on the battlefield in procede to blast each other in to tiny bits like civilized people. The current state of world affairs though means we are unlikely to face a threat like that in the near future. Instead we have a bunch of terrorists running around with AK-47s and roadside bombs. They also don't have the common courtesy to wear uniforms, use standard military vehicles or meet are forces on the battlefield. So because of this my unit, the OPFOR, has changed tactics to simulate this new threat. Now we wear robes, dont shave, use civilian vehicles and otherwise try to emmulate the terrorists. Now you might be asking, "Why are you telling us this Toc Rat?" To which I can answer, "To setup the scene."

OK so two of our guys went out and set up by 1700 thursday, no problems so far. The following day, Sfc. Pong told me and another soldier to go out an relieve those two guys so they could come back in for the night. So we load up our chevy blazer and head out. Driving along at 1900 that friday night we get about halfway to our site when we hit a Traffic Control Point or TCP. TCPs are run by the units we train...the good guys or Blue Force. OK, no biggie, we pull over, I get out and walk up to them. I give them our cover story, that we work for Iraqi ATnT and we are on our way to a cell phone tower to do repairs. The look confused and call up to their higher headquarters for instructions. Since I am right there I can hear everything over their radios. I begin to pick up on something not being quite right about this TCP. That's when I tell them about Iraqi ATnT being just our role, we are really soldiers with OPFOR etc. Then the light dawns in their eyes and they tell us we can't go out due to a live fire about to happen in the area. I tell them OK, when does it end. They say tomorrow.
So I tell them ok, we will be back tomorrow and try again. I get back in the blazer and head back for post. I call ahead to Sfc. Pong and let him know we couldnt relieve the two on the hill due to a live fire in the area and we will try again tomorrow. He says ok and goes back to sleep. I am almost back on post when I get a call from the Tactical Operations Center or TOC. They seem very much concerned that we were out there and want to make sure we are back. I assure them we are back safe but ask what is going on exactly. They tell me that the Navy SEALS are out there doing live fire with MLRS and that the projected impact area is a hill we call Yoda (dont ask). Whats more they plan on shooting around 2000 hours. This is of some concern for me as that is the hill we our retrans site is set up!!! I let them know that and ask what they plan on doing about it...like maybe calling the SEALs and have them not shoot?!

So basicly what would have happened was that I and my partner would have arrived on the top of Yoda just in time to watch the rockets fall on us! Thankfully the TOC was able to delay the shooting until our guys got off the hill.

Now here is the great part, the TOC was the ones that told our Cpt. Sleepy to set up the retrans site. He told Sfc. Pong. Thus it should have been the TOCs or at least the Cpt.'s fault for almost getting 4 soldiers killed. How it actually went down though was they all played the blame game and so no one was charged with anything. My guess is our Col. decided that since no one was actually blown up, he did the "no harm, no foul".

Oh yah, almost forgot. Right after this little incident, Sfc. Pong left for a two week class and left me in charge of the section in his absence. Convienent huh?

CaptRory wrote:I read through the entire 20 page thread in one sitting, its great. I'm glad you're still with us Toc.


*edited to fix typo. damn gremlins*

Glad you like it

Ahh, another happy reader

Um we would have beat some ass At J.O.T.B. This is the @#$% that gives the military a bad name. Fracken officer there **** poor planningI swear to Christ i would have... Glad your OK man.

Avorae wrote:Ok I have just read this thing from beginning to end I\and I must say that this is some funny stuff. The mage in the story reminds me of a character I had in a game once with all of her wacky schemes to try to make a credit.

Also about the military SNAFU I am glad that you and the others made it out ok even if the SOB who sent you all there did not get punished for it.

Ahhh, another happy reader

Always a good way to start my morning. I hope to have a new chapter posted really soon everyone.

Hi everyone! Sorry for my absencse from the boards but I hope to change that soon. I am having surgury done tomorrow the 10th of April and hopefully I will be able to sit down and write during my mandatory 5 days of convelesant leave...

Thanks all! As you might guess from this message, the surgury was a success...or so they tell me;)

It will be a couple more weeks until I will combat effective again but this is the first time in 3 days I could actually open my eyes and tap out a message!

I had PRK surgury done for my eyes, if you are not familiar with the details, it is a form of LASIK. The key difference (and why it hurts so much) between what most people think of LASIK and PRK is in LASIK they cut a "flap" in your outer eye, peel it back and then shoot the laser in that way. In PRK they take a device that is remarkably like a motorized toothbrush and grind away the top layer of your eye!!! This, as you can guess, hurts just a wee bit. Not during the actual surgury, you are way to numbed up for that but during the recovery. You are also light sensitive. By "light sensitive" I mean vampires would question your use of sunglasses at night, while in a room lite by a 40 watt bulb!

This has been a test to see if I oculd possibly handle looking at a monitor, with my ultra dark glasses, long enough to type out the next chapter. I judge it to be a success and will return to my cave...I mean room now and get to work:)

Once again thank you all for your concern and well wishes

Chapter 11, where Dangolf learns something about laser rifles…

Pvt. Snuffy: *speaking in to helmet radio* Lt. this is Pvt. Snuffy, we got 3 monsters incoming, un-happy kind.
Lt. Patterson: *holds up his hand to Elfinster in a stopping motion* Wait one Finster, got a call. *speaking in to helmet radio* Send your S.P.O.T. report Pvt.
Pvt. Snuffy: Sir 3 Rhino-Buffalos, 300 meters west of camp, prowling in your direction, time now.
Lt. Patterson: Roger that, stand by. 1st Sgt.! We have incoming from the west, get that Mark V moved!...
Elfinster: Excuse me.
Lt. Patterson: Sgt. Cruise, get your squad suited up and…
Elfinster: Excuse me!
Lt. Patterson: Finster, are you familiar with phrase “Lead, follow or get out the way”?
Elfinster: No but…
Lt. Patterson: Then let me clarify it, you qualify for the later. We got monsters inbound and I don’t have to time for you right now.
Elfinster: So that’s what’s going on. Well that’s perfect! *smiles*
Lt. Patterson: (having finished issuing the warno) *turns back to Elfinster* Come again?
Elfinster: Now you will get to see just how effective our golems are!
Lt. Patterson: *speaking softly to himself* Well I guess we could use the distraction…
Elfinster: What was that?
Lt. Patterson: Well get them in to action! I just have to send a quick message…
Elfinster: Excellent! I will gather my fellows and we will send are creations in to battle.

Meanwhile back in the woods…

Pvt. Snuffy: You want me to do what sir?
Lt. Patterson: I want you to distract them for a few moments. You can do this soldier! We are counting on you to give us time! Black Horse 6 out.
Pvt. Snuffy: Why do officers always say stuff like that? Do the really think we believe that #$@^?
Dangolf: (now laying prone next to Snuffy) What? Just got told to do something heroic and suicidal for flag and country?
Pvt. Snuffy: How’d you guess?
Dangolf: What? You thought you tech users had some kind of monopoly on officers that think they are the guy on the recruiting poster?
Pvt. Snuffy: You got them too huh? Well my CO just ordered me too “distract” the nasties. Got any ideas?
Dangolf: Call him back and say you tried your best?
Pvt. Snuffy: Don’t you have some sort of spell to help us out?
Dangolf: Us? I thought this was your mission! *whispering loudly*
Pvt. Snuffy: Ssshhh. Trying to give us away? Just remember if I do something heroic and fail those things will find you too.
Dangolf: You’re not going to fire at them are you? They’ll hear where you’re shooting from!
Pvt. Snuffy: No they won’t, I thought you mages were educated.
Dangolf: What are you talking about?
Pvt. Snuffy: *flips switch on C-14* Lasers don’t make noise, I thought everyone knew that…
Dangolf: They don’t? But how come everyone I’ve ever heard does?
Pvt. Snuffy: That’s just the noise maker.
Dangolf: The noise maker? You mean the CS, Wilk’s, NG, NGR, all of them add noise makers to their lasers? Why?
Pvt. Snuffy: Duh! How lame would it be to fire a silent laser? So much cooler if they make noise.
Dangolf: Hmm, well I guess you got a point there.
Pvt. Snuffy: So got any spells for dealing with house sized monsters?

Too be continued…

Hopefully I will be able to post one more this weekend. Right now I'm going to take a little break. My eyes are burning again.

That was great

Good to read the next chapter, finally.

Glad to hear your ok.

Let me know how the surgery goes for you, considering getting some done on my eyes (near sighted) want to hear some more first hand accounts.

This is an awesome post keep it coming.

Thanks for the kind reviews

Sorry for the delay in the next chapter. I've been super busy with the demob and adjusting to civilian life again. I am proud to say that I have past my writen and PT test for Nevada Highway Patrol and also scored very well on the oral board too. Once they get done with my brack ground check, a 3-6 month process I'm told, I move on to phase two of hiring and then off to the academy!

argos wrote:comin up on 1 year aniversary of this thread. I remember when it first started. . . . i was a starry eyed lil. . . . . huh? no one cares? ok.

Wow Has it really been a year? Hmmm, this calls for a SPECIAL ANIVERSARY CHAPTER!!!

Toc Rat wrote:

argos wrote:comin up on 1 year aniversary of this thread. I remember when it first started. . . . i was a starry eyed lil. . . . . huh? no one cares? ok.

Wow Has it really been a year? Hmmm, this calls for a SPECIAL ANIVERSARY CHAPTER!!!

Well then get crankin'.

Toc Rat wrote:Thanks all! As you might guess from this message, the surgury was a success...or so they tell me;)

It will be a couple more weeks until I will combat effective again but this is the first time in 3 days I could actually open my eyes and tap out a message!

I had PRK surgury done for my eyes, if you are not familiar with the details, it is a form of LASIK. The key difference (and why it hurts so much) between what most people think of LASIK and PRK is in LASIK they cut a "flap" in your outer eye, peel it back and then shoot the laser in that way. In PRK they take a device that is remarkably like a motorized toothbrush and grind away the top layer of your eye!!! This, as you can guess, hurts just a wee bit. Not during the actual surgury, you are way to numbed up for that but during the recovery. You are also light sensitive. By "light sensitive" I mean vampires would question your use of sunglasses at night, while in a room lite by a 40 watt bulb!

This has been a test to see if I oculd possibly handle looking at a monitor, with my ultra dark glasses, long enough to type out the next chapter. I judge it to be a success and will return to my cave...I mean room now and get to work:)

Once again thank you all for your concern and well wishes

I've never had PRK, but I had LASIK.

Lemme tell you - the 'cutting of the flap' is no day at the beach. They get something very similar to a cheese slicer and they run it across your eye...while you are looking through it. They then move the flap aside.

*shudder*

You can actually see the focus change when they move that piece of your eye.

*shudder even more*

Glad you're feeling better (yeah, I know this is way later).

/Sub

So for my long absence from the boards and this thread in particular. I've been rather busy. Let's see since the last time I visited here I have
1. Been promoted to E-6 (Staff Sergeant for the Army)
2. Made the new NCOIC of the Battalion's Communications Section
3. Recieved my inital job offer from the Department of Public safety.

What all of that means is that things are about to get even more busy for me. The police academy starts Dec.11 and lasts for 5 months. My unit is going thru a difficult transition right now. We are transforming from a heavy armored cavalry squadron and in to an armored recon battalion. Just to make things that much more interesting roughly 1/3 of us are still in Iraq.

Despite all of this I am still thinking about this thread and the story. I really, really do want to continue. I just don't want to turn something out that I would consider to be sub-standard.

Avorae wrote:Hey congrats on the promotion and it’s glad to hear that you are still in the land of the living.

As much as I would love to read more upon the antics of our protagonists it is much better for my sore ol’ eyes to read that one of our own is still alive and kicking.

The reports of my passing have been greatly exaggerated...

I expect to be doing a lot of kicking during the academy. All that hand to hand combat: Cop, I shall be learning.

Man sorry about whats been happening to you. But I've got say thats great "what you mean ........ all add noise.....?" lol

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I was last seen in these parts but I have finally completed 6 months of hell and am now able to devote time to my writtings again.

I have a question to ask though, would you be interested in my continuing the misadventures of Lt. Patterson and Elfinster? Or would you like to see something new? I am toying around a idea with new characters, this time to be situated in Chi-Town.

So what's the word guys? Stick with the old or go for the new?

I can't wait to see how this goes!

Absomalutely!

Subjugator wrote:Absomalutely!

i agree with subbie

Alright then, it looks like I will be continuing the (mis)adventures of Lt. Patterson and Elfinster...oh yah and their way-ward sidekicks, Pvt. Snuffy and Dangolf.


I just hope after this long away I don't write a total disappointment for you guys. My creative writting has been limited in the past 6 months...well, ok I couldn't resist during some of the many, many report writting classes. Thankfully, most of those were funny enough that the instructor still gave me a passing grade