Tales from the trenches

[Dr. Avery]

Dealers & Dragons

This story takes place a long time ago in galaxy far far away (the 80's). I was a young newb playing a paladin efectionately named Luke Dragonlance (boy was I a newb lol) Anyway my brother was DMing at the time and one of his npc's was a female ninja from the future. She worked for a triad as an assasin. Well on her last hit she was to take out a scientest wbo had designed a new Cocaine compound and take any oc the drug there. Well she manages the hit and grabs the stuff however right before she pulled the hit the scientest activated the timey wimey machine the drug money paid for. Pow, zap, boom one displaced ninja. Fast forward several months of game time and my 5thish level paladin and the group have made their way into a great red dragons lair via the mine above. We're in a shaft about 50 feet above the dragons lair and none of the othe pc's will go any further. Being the great hero he was Luke volunteers to descend to his likely death and survey the situation. Well needless to say a paladin in full plates about as stealthy as a bear in a china store lol. My brother being the lovely sibling and merciful DM he was (ha) sent the ninja after me. Fast forward through the dragon sniveling and begging for it's life (Luke was almost dead lol). The dragon woof in a mighty breath just as it does Fang (the ninja) hurls the kilo plus of disigner coke into the dragon's snoze. Snort, cough, choke, and a failed save later we had one dragon with an exploded heart lol. Your cloud of slumber story brought this little memory from my childhood back and gave me a good laugh thanks.

[zyanitevp]

Your very welcome it draws me back to the near 80's lol. Where we had one Monster manual, 4 sided die, and a nickel. Knew next to nothing about the game, but I believe we had more fun at times when we just went with it then some gaming sessions these days were you want to affectionately strangle the rules lawyer. lol

I already post mine under here.

[Alrik Vas]

Hunting the undead (which we all loathe) we were scouting out a cave. Our ogre friend has to wait outside, where we'd killed some necro-cultists and left their giant wagon o' bodies with him to guard. While we're scouting around the GM turns to Kevin, our Ogre and explains the scene. A murder of crows has appeared but they aren't picking at the dead. They're all staring at him intently.

Kevin thinks about this for a long moment. He decides they must be zombie birds that love the flesh of the living, so he leaps into the wagon.

The GM says, "Alright, so you leap away to hide from the zombie birds...right into the wagon full of cultist corpses...their eyes staring at you, judging."

Kevin, "Wait...are you saying these guys are zombies too?!?!?"

GM *shrugs*

Clearly still very alarmed, totally serious business Kevin says, "Oh crap, i better eat them before they eat me!"

Kevin was the man.

[Alrik Vas]

That's rough, man. I'd love to hear that story from the prespective of one of your players.

I've been in that situation before (oddly enough, on both the aggressor and victim sides) and it can be pretty harrowing both ways.

[kiralon]

This was in d&d 2nd ed
The party had been getting attacked by bandits faily regularily and the parties munchkin was getting sick of it, not sure why as he was pulling em apart like fried chicken. So he goes to the effort of getting a non lethal weapon to try and knock a couple out rather then kill them as he would kill them with a blow. So an ambush occurs from some trees and he gets out his club and the mage in the party says that the bad guy is obviously sending them to stop us, but the assassin wants to know for sure so he starts up towards the bandits getting peppered by arrows and then a meteor swarm comes down out of the sky and kills them all. The assassin then said that was it for the mage so the mage turned invis, then the mage teleported at the same time as the drow half dragon assassin (The Assassin had a 1 trick book pretty much, and it involved teleport backstab, and thats the way he killed pretty much anything tough) but left behind a delayed blast fireball to distract the Assassin. the assassin complained that the mage shouldn't have teleported because he wouldn't have known that he was going for a teleport backstab and i explained to him that that was all he did to tough things. He said right, its on and tried to kill the mage, the mage disintergrated him and he rolled a 1, him and his stuff was gone. He stood up and went and punched the mage player in the head a couple of times before anyone really realised what he was doing and then left the group.
The mage player said afterwards it was so totally worth it.

[Alrik Vas]

Well, there was the time i saved this innkeeper's daughter from being sold into slavery. He didn't have much money, business was drying up, but he let me stay for free, i ate for free and his daughter waited on my all night, and she was a total babe.

The issue i was having, was the same issue that everyone was having: the local magistrate. Who happened to be in league with the same slavers that tried to take the innkeeper's daughter. The same slavers that had been plucking people out of this town and a few others in the wilderness for a while apparently.

So the magistrate shows up and i figure he's going to try to lock me up until his slaver chums come back, so i put on the charm, invite him to sit at my table. He tells me he isn't going to arrest me, but tomorrow he's going to the slaver's camp to tell them what i've done to their men (dead and castrated, i was a little thorough). He explains they're a really mean bunch and they won't take kindly to what i've done, likely they'll track me for as long as it takes, he also says that i can avoid this if i pay him a handsome amount of gold (i was well dressed, but not richly so, however my weapons were impeccably taken care of, so he figured i had cash).

Anyway, i tell him I'll go get some money, go to my room, sneak out the window, go around to the kitchen and tell the innkeeper to prepare the magistrate's favorite meal. He gives me the "huh?" look and I explain he should give him the "special sauce" as well. He understands, i sneak back to my room and come back with a sack of coins.

I convince the magistrate to eat with me, he keeps trying to get me to hand him the coins, i keep plugging him for information about the slavers, he brags about them, i find out where the camp is, how many there are etc...then at the end of dinner i tell him he'll get nothing from me. The guy snarls, says i've made my last mistake and storms off.

I chill, wait for food poisoning to settle in, ambush him as he's puking and crapping his mind out at home, tie him up and take his clothes, badge of office, weapons and armor. Then i ring the bell to bring out the townsfolk, let them lynch the guy and then convince them to go ambush the slavers that very night. It's a quick fight, I used the magistrate's gear as a disguise to distract them so the ambush party could get into position. Regardless, most of the slavers were asleep and most of the townsfolk had been wronged by them, the math isn't hard to do.

Sometimes solo games are pretty fun.